Where has it gone?

Slowly fading away, drifting apart again.. sometimes you wonder, when will you ever hit that point of no return....
Trying to keep that flame burning but at the same time, thinking of just blowing the candle out....

SMH Half Marathon - May 20, 2012

Completed in 1 hour 59 min 10 secs, pace of 5 min 38 secs. Only improved by 17 secs from my PB during the Blackmores Half Marathon in 2010. Gutted but at least there's that improvement. Was putting quite a bit of effort in April to train for it but then I suffered from a groin injury which took longer than expected to recover and didn't get to train how I wanted. This was only 37 secs faster when I ran with a sprained ankle last year. Another reason to feel gutted. Gosh! I must have been really fit back then and mentally much stronger.

Today I ran without my RunKeeper as my phone dropped into the pool few days ago and am still waiting for a new battery. I resorted back to the good ol' watch. Pace for the first 10km was once again awesome, clocking a time of 52:26, at a pace of 5 min 14 secs. But after that, it all went downhill. I was both physically and mentally weak and the mind definitely played a huge role today. Felt like stopping so many times and it was asking the legs not to go so fast. Stopped once to stretch when I actually didn't need to and did the most disappointing thing - walked up the last hill, which I have been telling myself not to do so over the past few weeks. Again, I found every opportunity at the water stations to rest.

The route had more slopes than I expected. But I am not blaming that. I am blaming myself, for being weak in the head. Yes, I am also physically not in the best condition in this run - groin injury, sore throat and a flu that I got last night... But I still feel the weak mind contributed a lot. Been telling myself to stay strong but I was defeated today. Yes, there is a tiny bit of improvement, but I actually thought I was better than this. Training for the full marathon will commence soon. It's been awhile since I did a run and felt proud of myself. I think after the full marathon in October, I am sticking to 10km runs only :p

This run have definitely made me face the fact that I am so not a long distance runner. And have also realized I need to start watching what I eat .... damn old age!