Still unable to take down the photos stuck on my wall. Part of me is unwilling to let go just yet.
But progress is when you managed a week without having watery eyes when you think about it; when you are able to talk about it without choking; when you are able to finally change the wallpaper on your phone.
Baby steps...
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Suffocating
Each time i think about it, or try to talk about it, my eyes just fills up with tears, and I just choked. It's so hard to get over this. Still in its early stages. Still waiting for some good to come out of this.
Maybe I should run more and get my mind away from this all.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Australia Running Festival in Canberra - 14th April 2013
It's already mid year and I have been pretty slack, I'm worst than last year. I have not even made any race reports entry despite having pretty good stories with my races. So here I am... attempting to post up my race report for the first race of the year.
Australia Running Festival in Canberra - 14th April 2013
Did the half marathon for this. It was a rather full on weekend. Woke up on Saturday morning rather early and couldn't sleep so I went to Eveleigh Markets. Walked around and bought some snack for my trip to Canberra. And then, headed off to dragonboat training followed by lunch with the crew before I set off on my lonesome drive down to Canberra. Left Sydney probably around 3pm.
Despite driving alone, it was rather fun. I was just singing to the radio at the top of my lungs as if I'm in my own world. And when the radio went fuzzy, it was back to songs back in the 90s - Avril lavigne, M2M, Britney Spears and so forth.... I really enjoyed it. Haha! Got to Canberra around 7pm, popped over to Coles to grab my dinner- ready made pasta salad from the salad bar (it tasted rather awful... but hey... need to carbo load!). Stayed a night at Grace's (a friend's friend) place. She was so nice to host me despite not knowing me at all nor met me before. Saved heaps on accommodation and am really thankful for that.
Got up rather early on race day. Couldn't really sleep because it was quite cold that night (should have brought my sleeping bag). Changed, got into my car and drove to the starting line.
As I got there early, I decided to take in a quick power nap. Got to the starting line and it was 7 degrees. Freezing cold wearing just singlet and shorts. It's only Autumn! How can it be so cold? Gulped down a packet of energy gel with some water before getting to the starting line. Ran the first 2 km under 5 min/km. Got worried decided to go a bit slower as I do not want to burnout. After the 4km mark, I rolled my ankle. Hobbled a wee bit but was back to my normal running after. Slowed down quite a bit and couldn't maintain by 5min/km pace. Was sitting on just under the 5:30 pace which I'm pretty happy with. My goal was to go under the 1 hr 55 min mark. It was a good sign that I will be able to make it.
The route was pretty flat and running in a foreign place just makes it way much better. There's so many things to see, you get distracted on how far more you have to go. It's like having a tour of Canberra whilst running in a race. Really my definition of getting the best of both worlds :p
Crossed the finishing line with a time of 1 hr 52 min 57 sec, with a pace of 5:21/km. Very happy with the time. Am so glad I didn't walk for the very first time in a half marathon and went all the way. Finally hit under the 1 hr 55 min mark!! Rushed to the port-a-loo after and did a really big dump. Had a rather sore tummy during the run. I think the pasta salad the night before was the big culprit. Next time, only home cooked pasta!! If I have to cook it in Sydney and bring it down to Canberra, I will!!
The amount of training I put into this wasn't as much as the full marathon training. If only I did, imagine how much faster I would have been. Nevertheless, am really happy with the race.
Went back to Grace's house after the run for a quick shower before heading back to Sydney. Was dozing off during the drive back and had to pullover twice by the road to take a nap, and once for a stop at KFC to reward myself after a KFC ban for a month. Hehehehe....
All in all, a really fun road trip for myself and I. Definitely a good, fun experience. A race that I'm very proud of. Would definitely do this drive and do the race again next time!!! The sense of personal achievement, beating your ownself and becoming better ... one of the many reasons why I can't give running up.
Australia Running Festival in Canberra - 14th April 2013
Did the half marathon for this. It was a rather full on weekend. Woke up on Saturday morning rather early and couldn't sleep so I went to Eveleigh Markets. Walked around and bought some snack for my trip to Canberra. And then, headed off to dragonboat training followed by lunch with the crew before I set off on my lonesome drive down to Canberra. Left Sydney probably around 3pm.
Despite driving alone, it was rather fun. I was just singing to the radio at the top of my lungs as if I'm in my own world. And when the radio went fuzzy, it was back to songs back in the 90s - Avril lavigne, M2M, Britney Spears and so forth.... I really enjoyed it. Haha! Got to Canberra around 7pm, popped over to Coles to grab my dinner- ready made pasta salad from the salad bar (it tasted rather awful... but hey... need to carbo load!). Stayed a night at Grace's (a friend's friend) place. She was so nice to host me despite not knowing me at all nor met me before. Saved heaps on accommodation and am really thankful for that.
Got up rather early on race day. Couldn't really sleep because it was quite cold that night (should have brought my sleeping bag). Changed, got into my car and drove to the starting line.
As I got there early, I decided to take in a quick power nap. Got to the starting line and it was 7 degrees. Freezing cold wearing just singlet and shorts. It's only Autumn! How can it be so cold? Gulped down a packet of energy gel with some water before getting to the starting line. Ran the first 2 km under 5 min/km. Got worried decided to go a bit slower as I do not want to burnout. After the 4km mark, I rolled my ankle. Hobbled a wee bit but was back to my normal running after. Slowed down quite a bit and couldn't maintain by 5min/km pace. Was sitting on just under the 5:30 pace which I'm pretty happy with. My goal was to go under the 1 hr 55 min mark. It was a good sign that I will be able to make it.
The route was pretty flat and running in a foreign place just makes it way much better. There's so many things to see, you get distracted on how far more you have to go. It's like having a tour of Canberra whilst running in a race. Really my definition of getting the best of both worlds :p
Crossed the finishing line with a time of 1 hr 52 min 57 sec, with a pace of 5:21/km. Very happy with the time. Am so glad I didn't walk for the very first time in a half marathon and went all the way. Finally hit under the 1 hr 55 min mark!! Rushed to the port-a-loo after and did a really big dump. Had a rather sore tummy during the run. I think the pasta salad the night before was the big culprit. Next time, only home cooked pasta!! If I have to cook it in Sydney and bring it down to Canberra, I will!!The amount of training I put into this wasn't as much as the full marathon training. If only I did, imagine how much faster I would have been. Nevertheless, am really happy with the race.
Went back to Grace's house after the run for a quick shower before heading back to Sydney. Was dozing off during the drive back and had to pullover twice by the road to take a nap, and once for a stop at KFC to reward myself after a KFC ban for a month. Hehehehe....
All in all, a really fun road trip for myself and I. Definitely a good, fun experience. A race that I'm very proud of. Would definitely do this drive and do the race again next time!!! The sense of personal achievement, beating your ownself and becoming better ... one of the many reasons why I can't give running up.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Sleepless nights
it's my own doing anyway... it has to be the right thing... it has to be... it's only in its early stages.... i'm sure some good will come out of it one day... soon... hopefully... Afterall, everything happens for a reason.
It's so hard to erase it all.. it's hard to even erase anything. Where do I begin?
I know the answer. But still unwilling to do so. Still unwilling to move on to the next step.
It's so hard to erase it all.. it's hard to even erase anything. Where do I begin?
I know the answer. But still unwilling to do so. Still unwilling to move on to the next step.
Thursday, June 06, 2013
Unknown world
All of a sudden it just feels so empty, so quiet.. It all feels so foreign, so unfamiliar... Clueless on what's next...
Time... Is all we need.. To get used to the unfamiliarity.
Time... Is all we need.. To get used to the unfamiliarity.
Sunday, June 02, 2013
16km Great NOSH Footrace June 2, 2013
This was the first trail run race for the year. Went with my cousin in law - Phil. Mum, dad and cousin were waiting for us in the car/cafe whilst we two crazy people ran in the rain.
Throughout the whole run, it was bucketing rain. Can't believe the race was actually still on. Despite the rain, it felt really good at the start. Was going at a rather good pace. Running under the rain somehow felt rejuvenating. Wasn't tired. The course was was rather technical but not too technical. At some point, we had to jump over waterfalls, and ran through puddles that were up to knee height. Good fun!!
Towards the end, when I started to fatigue, I sprained my ankle 3 times. It was pretty bad and that was what slowed me down. Keen to do this again in 2014 to get a better time. Need to get this ankle sorted out!!
Time taken to complete: 1:58:42
You can check out the waterfall we had to cross in this video (it's the waterfall featured at 0:41s):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCmTfspo4W8
Throughout the whole run, it was bucketing rain. Can't believe the race was actually still on. Despite the rain, it felt really good at the start. Was going at a rather good pace. Running under the rain somehow felt rejuvenating. Wasn't tired. The course was was rather technical but not too technical. At some point, we had to jump over waterfalls, and ran through puddles that were up to knee height. Good fun!!
Towards the end, when I started to fatigue, I sprained my ankle 3 times. It was pretty bad and that was what slowed me down. Keen to do this again in 2014 to get a better time. Need to get this ankle sorted out!!
Time taken to complete: 1:58:42
You can check out the waterfall we had to cross in this video (it's the waterfall featured at 0:41s):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCmTfspo4W8