happy 20th swannie

18th September....

A special day because 20 years ago, a very special someone was brought into this world. This person, is .... "my other half".... A girl that I've known for almost 3 years. A girl that I have seen grown and changed the past few years. From lil innocent blur first year to a very responsible, tough and a bit less blur 3rd yr student.

I am sure you all know who I am talking about. No one other than Swannie Swan Swan. I wanted to write about all the memories we shared the past 3 yrs but I decided, that can wait for another birthday. What I am so impressed about this chic here is what she had done the past one year, what she had gone through and how she eventually battle it all, overcoming every obstacles thrown at her.

Organizing the commitee, making sure things run smoothly, making decisions, attending meetings, functions ... having so much responsibilities on her shoulder.. and at the same time, juggling it with her studies ... family .... friends ... sports ... a big hands down to that!! RESPECT!! From what i've seen, it's really been an emotional roller coster ride for this tough chic over here.... if i were her, I would have already broken down during the middle of the year or even earlier. I would have probably burst and screamed or stranggle people. Whatever shit people give her, whatever crap that is being thrown at her, this girl here still stood strong and handled it all with very little complaints.

And just when everything seemed to be lifted off her shoulders, a very unfortunate event striked her ... she lost so much and yet.... on this day, she is still standing strong. She's the type of person who keeps her emotions at home and when she meets us, she is still the typical Swan, even after that incident.

Babe, I'm so proud of you .. as a friend and as a leader this year as well. you've made it!! You've set good examples for the next person who will take up your role. You've set the bar high. and I'm sure you've learnt a lot from it and you've definitely gained a lot of confidence. All these qualities will take you far. As my other half, you were still always there for me despite being so busy. For hearing me out and telling me if I did anything wrong/overrreact. Thank you! And also for keeping my secrets. Hehehehe.. Our friendship definitely have grown even more this year...things that we dont' usually talk about are now discussed. Thank you so much for being the one whom I can share it with.

Happy 20th Birthday Swannie!!

Here's to a better year ahead filled with joy and happiness and reduced stress and worries. Haha!! Remember, I'm always here for you if you need me. Always your other half no matter what ;)

Hope you had a wonderful birthday. You know we all LOVE you.

Let's go casino!!!

She's the Man!!!! hahahaha!!!

4 year old

Bloggie turns 4, Sexy turns 1

My blog is now 4 years old. And Sexy is now one year and one day old!

Sexy is the name I gave to my sexy frisbee scar.

So when you see me the next time, please say Happy Birthday to Sexy.

It's just so nice having a blog. To read back what happened a year or two ago. To see what was on my mind at that particular time. Reflecting back to a year ago, situations change but yet some feelings remain the same. It really amazes me to see myself growing and changing. And best thing is, only me and only me knows what really was going on in my head and to observe those changes. Not much have changed since my last post in last september. I quote myself last year : "I'm pretty much a happier person, really living life to the fullest, trying my best to make the most out of everything". This still stays true :)

Have a lil faith, have a lil hope. This is what I always believed in. And having patience will just make it all worth it in the end. No rush, things will happen if they are meant to happen. If they don't, then it's just not meant to be. I know, because it was proven to me.

And this is just the beauty of having a blog. Not only to update people with what is happening in your life, but also to pen down the thoughts in your head ... so that few years down the road, you read back and ... you smile :) That's what a blog is for me ... a reminder for myself...

Happy Birthday to my blog.. and Sexy... hehe...

Now... back to my report writing. Hehehehehee....

Piling up

Piling up...

Just came back from a road trip. The weather just made it all rather disappointing. I am still yet to do the Tongariro Crossing!! Next winter.... my next winter will probably be in 2011 if I do go to sydney. *sigh* And no, I do not want to do it in summer because I want snow!

And now, being back ... looking at my due dates of reports and assignments ... I'm in deep trouble. It's this point of your study where you say... I can't wait for all of this to be over! I want to graduate!!!

I really need to switch my brain to working mode and be prepared for some sleepless nights. I really need to. Please please please get warmer ... for I can only work well in warm environment. I really need to work hard. I failed my mid-sem for neuroscience. Never have I failed before so yeaa..... deep deep trouble. 13% gone just like that.

With exam dates being out as well ....
5/11- Psychology of Physical Activity
6/11- Sport and exercise physiology for special populations
8/11- Mechanics of Injury
10/11- Movement of Neuroscience

Looks like I won't be doing the Auckland Half Marathon on 2/11. *sigh* Priorities. Priorities. Perhaps in 2011 as well huh?

I'll get through this. I eventually will. Someone please whack me.

P.S. I have something to tell you

P.S. I have something to tell you...

Hey there, how are you? How's things?
Hey there, what's up? How's everything?
Hey there, where have you been? How's life?

I haven't spoke to you for ages
I haven't heard from you
And you ... and you ... and you ...

Say what?
You're flying off? To where?

Say what?
You're back? Since when?

Say what?
You're done? What's next?

We're so busy with our own lives
We're so tied up with assignments, uni, work
We're so caught up with the new people around us

That we just don't have time to catch up with old friends
That we just become so outdated with their lives
That at times, that lil voice in us will tell us that we should be ashame of ourselves...
For not keeping in touch with those who once made an impact in our lives.

So here I am
Telling all of you
I'm thinking of you right now

No matter how far we are
No matter how long we've not talked
No matter what happened in the past

I'm thinking of you right this very moment
Each and everyone one of you :)

-Sher Mayne

No i'm not emo...i was just browsing facebook, saw some familiar faces that I haven't seen for AGES and yea.. i realized, man, it has been so long since i last saw these people. then i thought of others as well. there's so many people in our lives that have touched our hearts in many ways but as we move on with our own lives, we're no longer on the same page with each other anymore. We walk our own different paths, having different dreams, making new friends, finding new interests. We really do get caught up with what's going on around us that we just don't have the time to sit down, compose an email and ask a friend... "Hi, how are you? what's up?" It's just that simple but we just don't do it. So hence, this post, for you to go and drop a random email to an old friend right now, asking how they are... hahaha! Or .... Send a Message on Facebook. Lolx! I'm sure a reply from them will make your day :)

The Red Carpet - UMSA Ball 2008

And then it's over...

UMSA's annual ball for 2008, The Red Carpet, has finally came to an end, a successful ending I must say. After months of planning and preparation, it finally ended, with a BANG!!!

Despite being unable to attend my last ball being an audience and not doing anything, just the feedback from others who enjoyed themselves that night made it all wonderful.

The day started off with the majority of us having very little or no sleep at all.At 10am, it was off to the ballroom to get it set up. I was part of the photo spot team and all I did was pinning up the black cloth, taking it down and then pinning it up again. Lolx! Had trouble of thinking where to put it but its final placement was just perfect. Guests were greeted with a red carpet as they entered the ballroom, leading to the awesome photo spot. Wished I could have helped out more with it but I had to go for dress rehearsal. *sigh* The backdrop was pretty awesome too. A job well done to the deco team, for making such a wonderful photo spot and backdrop :)

my other half and i before the ball...

La Familia...

The fashion show rehearsal went on longer than planned. Yes, I was dragged into the fashion show as they did not have enough models at the start. Something I would never have imagined myself doing. Still can't believe I actually did it. I'm probably the worst of all, not knowing how to walk, pose and be confident. I can only be confident if I'm myself, which is, being silly. It was really an experience I must say. Besides, I got my hair and makeup done for free. Love the hair, Jeannette did my hair and it was awesome. Also, being a noob, I washed my hair right before I went to get my hair done. Apparently you're not supposed to wash your hair on the day you want to style it. I didn't know that. I got a text saying we have to wash our hair the day before, I just thought it was so that it doesn't smell when they are styling our hair!! So I thought, wash it right before they style it even better la... smell nice ma....hahaha!

my hair!! if u're wondering.. no, i did not dye my hair.. chlorine from work is killing it...

The make up was... well, not me but hey, it's free so I couldn't complain. Though I did took it out after the fashion show coz I'm just not used to it. The fashion show went pretty smooth I must say. I gained my few seconds of fame not by being all elegant and pro, but by being myself, taking up a dare and did something you would not see in a normal fashion show. This is UMSA's ball, anything can happen :p So if you weren't there to see it, you missed it.

a hint of The Dare... spot daddy!!

So yeaa..thanks to jo's shop, aka thedresshop.com for making this fashion show possible, putting up with us noobs, especially me and getting our hair and makeup done too!

Next, it was to skit rehearsal. I was part of the skit team and the journey to it wasn't smooth at all. Not being a creative person, having so much other things on my mind, it wasn't easy. But we all know, there's no "I" in team, and hence, with few other brains, the skit turned out pretty good, achieving the main point for having a skit, which is getting the audience to laugh. A great big thanks to Roger who's not in the skit team but really helped out a lot. He did the filming, the video editting (till he did not sleep at all), and contributed a LOT towards getting the final script done. Thanks bro!! I owe you heaps! Also thanks to Boon for helping out with some of the filming too!! Thanks boonie!! Well done to the skit team- kevin, ali, andrew, june ... and of course, to the whole committee, for being such wonderful actors and actresses, for being so sporting, being super crazy and went all out on the night itself, covering up the mistakes, making it awesome!! And lastly, to all who attended the ball, laughing at the right time and enjoying it.

Bimbim and Bobo ...

my ultra sexy housemate, Karen, all dressed up in red

I guess Joker isn't too happy with his makeup? My masterpiece!!

Next, it was time for bands rehearsal. Heard them played a few songs and all 3 were good. On the night itself, they really engaged the crowd and it looked like everyone enjoyed it, wanting for more! For me, I was just standing behind, just listening to the songs, and enjoying it, not doing anything as I was rather tired and just glad it was all over. Enough of moving around for me for that night. Apparently the food was good but I couldn't really enjoy it. Didn't eat much. Didn't have much time to eat. I took desserts which were to be eaten after the skit but once it was over, I still couldn't eat. No appetite I suppose. All I wanted to do was sleep.

Marilee singing!! She was awesome!!!!

Slow dancing...

After the bands played, the clocked striked 12 and the Negaraku was sang since it was the 31st of august. We didn't have the song on the computer and so, we had jun bin playing the negaraku. Awesome man!! After that, it was all over. Took photos with the photospot, the backdrop, cleaned up and off we go.

And he never fails to make me laugh... are you the next msian idol?

We were meant to go to sixth sense for the afterball but the line was long. Went to BK and McD instead. I was so sleepy in McD and didn't talk much. I just wanted to sleep. I have been longing to sleep for ages. And so, we went back to the hotel, took out all the pins in my hair, showered and slept. A very good 5 hours of sleep I must say.

And so... that's the ball, The Red Carpet. Well done to the whole UMSA committee, for being co-operative on the night itself, for making it happen, for making it an awesome, memorable ball. As Adrian said, we ran the ball and did not let the ball run us! Woot!! After all the sacrifices, the countless moments of feeling like running away or stranggling someone ... it was all well worth it in the end and I'm glad I was part of it :) TOGETHER, we did it!!!

The people behind it all...

And Ms.President is exhausted but relieved :)

A sweet ending

28th- Just wanted to remember this day ....

Very little sleep the night before, crazy n difficult tests. Helping my supervisor with a 2 hour testing session, playing around with EMG electrodes and all the wires that drove me nuts (someone shld really invent wireless electrodes!), rushed home for dinner, took a nap and then off for indoor netball, playing centre for all 4 sets with a rather weak body condition as I am still sick, prepared for my lab the following day ...

Despite all of these, it somehow ended rather sweet. The crazy tests are already over and holiday is coming.

So yeaa.. today's a good day. Balanced :)

dreams

Dreams

I used to have dreams of not washing my school shoes and it's all black on a Monday going to school... It never happened.

I used to have dreams of being late to meet up with someone and ended up not getting to see them forever anymore ... It never happened.

I used to have dreams of typing up my assignment and suddenly it all disappeared on the day I had to hand it in ... It never happened.

I used to have dreams of being late to school ... It never happened.

I used to have dreams of being late for an exam ... It HAPPENED. Today ...

*sigh* half an hour late for my test. I was meant to wake up at 5 to finish up my revision. I set the alarm at 5am, 6am, 7am. And I failed to wake up. No, I did not snooze at all. It automatically snooze and I didn't hear anything at all. At 8.45, I woke up automatically. I still had time to think if i'm in a dream or not. Hoping it's tuesday and not wednesday. Till I whack myself real hard, looked at my watch and it says Wednesday, 8.45 .... I realized.. shit, i'm late! Test started at 8.30am! I didn't finish studying everything. I wanted to this morning. And now, I'm late!

Put on my hoodies, grabbed my pencil case and rushed to uni. Arrived at 9am. I had extra time to do my test, the lecturer was nice. When I was talking to her at the start she even asked if I need some time to calm down. But I had no use for that extra time as I didn't know how to answer them. The panic attack this morning made me forgotten everything. My mind wasn't at ease at all.

It's 30% worth. I have to pass all internals to pass the paper. Ohhh shucks!! This is the worst nightmare that ever came true.... for me. All I can blame for is myself. Me and only me. So ashame of myself. Can't believe it actually happened. I never ever thought it would happen to me. Sure I dreamt of it but my dreams never come true. Of all dreams, this one had to come true. Need to change ringtone and get rid of the habit of snoozing! If it were to be 10% or 15%, then not too bad la... but 30% ... *sigh*

I wonder what my next alarm tone should be ...

A year ago today...

A year ago today ...

I flew off and headed to Montreal to start a new chapter which ended in January this year. A chapter of my life I would never forget. One with lots of lessons learnt. Occassionally, I do think back of the times I had in Montreal. I do miss them sometimes. The times where I had a lot of ME-time, having nothing much to do, nothing much to worry. Having time to cook, making my meals look good, walking along the streets and just observing and not thinking about anything really, except, the people back here. And now... when i'm back here, i'm thinking about the times over there.

But yea.. it's been a year and I can say, I'm happy here. Despite the busy life, I am enjoying it, I like it here. This is home indeed :) And here's just a memory of this very day, a year ago today.

I still remembered last year at this time of the year, I was saying my goodbyes. I went to uni in the morning one last time to say my goodbyes, to see the faces of all the wonderful people that I would miss so much. It was the hardest thing to do, that's what I remembered. The UMSA stall was open for the ball, and so, that was the spot where I met up with all the people. And I even remembered, we took some photos too. After saying all the goodbyes, I took a walk to domain as my car was parked there. At the same time, I was texting, reading all the goodbye messages and replying to them. My steps were small and rather slow, as I hoped time would slow down a little. As I got home, I went on MSN one last time, to say even more goodbye. I just didn't want to leave I guess. In the evening, it was time to pack up and head to the airport. Was kinda rushing and I forgotten my pillow. Was rather sad in the car coz I can't sleep without my pillow. To top it up, text messages were still coming in. I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to end my text2000. Got to the airport and the lady said my flight was delayed. I was so happy. It meant more time here. So I went home and grabbed my pillow and then went to McDs. I remembered I had nuggets and strawberry milkshake. And I also remembered I texted Vanessa to tell her that. Because my milkshake was pink. I remembered the rest of the UMSA committee were busy preparing for the ball at that time. They were doing their skit practice and deco. I remembered swan had her last test on that day too. At the airport,I remembered hugging mum and dad one last time. I remembered waiting in the boarding area, texting to the very last bit. And at the end, I swapped my plan back to motormouth.

And then.. I boarded the plane. That...was the saddest part. I thought of everyone. Everyone that I will miss. As the plane took off, I so wanted to stop it. I so wanted to turn back. It suddenly hit me of what I have gotten myself into. I was afraid. But...there was no turning back. I closed my eyes and slept it through. All the thoughts and feelings.. were all left behind.

And now.. today, after a year, I'm glad I didn't turn back. Things did not really change much, feelings remained. I'm glad I completed that chapter of my life. A great one indeed, to be cherished and remembered forever.

20.08.2008

20.08.2008

So I didn't get to make an entry on 08.08.08... I was just too busy and totally forgotten how special that date was. So now... hehehehe.... time to blog today! 20082008 ...

Ok.. so nothing really special happened today. Woke up, had breakfast, went to uni ... Ohhh! I went home too and mummy cooked yummy food for me. Hehehehe... and then i dyed her hair. Yeaa.. that's something different. Haha! And I received a postcard from my bro, all the way from France! He's finished his Euro trip and just arrived Lund, Sweden few days ago and is still settling down. Everything there is in Swedish. He went to supermarket to buy milk and ... somehow ended up buying yoghurt because it looked like a milk carton. Hahaha!! Waiting for more interesting stories from him. Lolx!! This is really all part of the exchange experience huh? I ... miss him. Koko, I Miss YOU...

Whatelse happened today? Ohh yeaa.. I just landed myself more stress ... more things to do. Application deadline is next sunday! Found out I need to get a JP to certify my documents and then I'll send it off on Friday. Hope i'll keep to my word. I had so much things on my mind today that I had to actually sit down and write it all out to plan my days properly and that I don't miss out on anything. And then I also have to look into applying my visa to go to Australia. Haihhhh... immigration stuff. The same process I had to go through last year. All over again. More money to be spent. Ohh well.. for the future.. for the future... Hehehehe...

And lastly ... I got a letter today saying my term deposit is gna end soon! And I just saw the amount I will get. Teehee :) That.. made me happy. Hahaha! I'm gonna just keep it in there.. and let it grow more. Grow my money tree, grow!!!

slow it down

Slow it down ... Please ...

Funny how I find the time this year just flies so fast. Why does it have to fly so fast in my last year of study? How I really wish it will just slow down. In semester 1, I felt it flying by pretty fast too. And this semester, there is no exception to it. In fact, it's even faster. Before I know it, there's only 2 more weeks till the mid-sem break starts. 2 more weeks till the ball. 2 more weeks till the ball is over. 2 more weeks till my application deadline. I think it's time to pull several all-nighters huh?

Week 5
Sportsci 204 journal assessment (3%)
Sportsci 202 lab (5%)
Sportsci 305 lab report (5%)

Week 6 aka dooms week aka ultra panda eye week aka megastress week

Wednesday:
Psychology in Physical Activity mid-term - 30%

Thursday:
Sportsci 305 midterm- 20%
Sportsci 302 midterm - 20%
Sportsci 302 Lab assignment - 20%

Friday:
Sportsci 202 Lab (5%)

Saturday:
UMSA Ball!!!

Have to get my application done as well!! Why does the process have to be so tedious?? Arghhh!!! I think I'm getting bad at handling stress d. Still trying to find my way, trying to get myself on track, trying to get myself organized... On the verge of breaking down...

But.. don't worry...

Why so serious?

the greatest olympian

"He’s not just winning, he’s absolutely destroying everything,"

And so today after my morning lecture at 10, I decided to stay back at Tamaki to study till work starts. Come 2pm and I gave up so I headed over to Zesty's Cafe, hoping TV 1 will be broadcasting the swimming events. To my luck, it did!!

First stop, the Men's 100m Freestyle Semifinal. First semifinal and the world record was broken. But, it only stood there for a few minutes because it was broken again during the second semifinal. Far out man!! These people are crazy!!! So impressive!! Next, it was the Women's 200m Freestyle Finals. Again, another world record being broken, this time, by an Italian.

Following that, the much anticipated event of the day ... The Men's 200m Butterfly, with our very own Kiwi swimmer, Moss Burmester, being in the finals, along with Phelps. You guess it, Phelps won it. And... another freaking world record. He was so close to not breaking it though due to his leaking goggles. Lolx! But yeaa... what impressed me was Burmester's swim. Gutted but still.. hands down for the good swim. He was actually ahead of Phelps during the first 100m but then slowed down in the last 50m and ended up with a 4th placing. *sigh* So close!!

After that, I headed off to work. Come dinner time, I turned on the tv and they had replay of the Men's 200m Freestyle relay. Shit man!!! US won it... by a body length if i'm not mistaken! and ... world record being broken.. AGAIN!! That means... 5 gold medals to Phelps, with 3 more to go to beat Mark Spitz's gold medals record. But yeaa.. just with his 5 gold medals, all breaking world records, he is now the greatest olympian of all times with a record of 11 olympic gold medals in total. Way too impressive. And to think that this fella is only 23 yrs old!! 3 more events to go.. 200m IM, 100m Butterfly, and a relay event. Will he make it? Will he win all 8 golds? At this point, I really think so. I doubted him for the 200m Freestyle since he didn't come first during the semis but during the finals.... man, he was leading by a fair amount. Some machine he is. Setting more world records again? I have a feeling he will. He just doesn't stop... truly amazing!

look at those muscles! those abs!! i want!!!!

so many things to do

Just with uni itself, there's so many things to do. So many that I don't even know where to start. It has just been piling up since week 1. A lot to catch up on. The amount of readings just keeps getting more and more, readings that HAVE to be done orelse I'm dead meat for the tests in week 6. These days I find myself going into the lectures with an empty head and come out with an empty one too. It's only when I do the readings will I understand what the lecturer was talking about. *sigh* really need to catch up on my readings. But... where to start? Apart from the lecture readings, I have assignments due every week, lab reports, lab readings, and a test this coming friday. Ohhh.. and there's still the sydney application which is due end of this month and I haven't really started on it.

Where do I start? Where? I really wanna do well for my last semester, at the same time I need to get that application done and send it off.

Ohh and then there's UMSA ball... *sigh*

I need to get myself organized. But really.. when I look at the things I need to do, I am so lost. Don't know where to start. Suddenly the ranking of priorities just disappeared. Feel so lost.

On a different note, the Olympics! I have been watching swimming. Awesome! Just makes me feel like swimming again. It's always like that when I watch the Olympics or the Commonwealth Games. Amazing! So many records being broken in the pool. And those swimmers' bodies.. Ahhh!! Irresistable!!! Their abs... fuyoh!!!!!

Need something to wash your eyes?

Go HERE --> http://www.nbcolympics.com/swimming/photos/galleryid=156776.html

Ahahahahha!! G'nite :)

Catchy

Catchy

On a rainy weather like this for over a week....
Sitting in Level 0 attempting my assignment which is due tomorrow ...

Listening to this ...


Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

Oh don't you just feel like tapping your feet to the beat, shaking your head from left to right ... and go....

Du du du du du do you, do you, du du du, do you ....

Hahahaha!!!

rain rain go away

Please stop raining and come out, Mr. Sun!!!

I do not like the weather.. it's been raining since....last saturday? almost a week.. it better not rain tomorrow... so depressing... and it makes me tired easily. i'm worn out... especially today.... did a VO2 max test on the treadmill today. the last time i did it, air was leaking thru the mouthpiece hence the data was wrong ... and I swore not to do it again because it was torture and i felt cheated. But I had to do it today as no one else in the group wanted to do it because you gotta be committed for this lab. Committed for 4 weeks. Every week, you'll have to perform a VO2 test ... next week will be using the bike, following week is using arm crank (i'm gna have sore arms!) and the final week, a beep test. And following that, I have indoor netball at night. Not only will I be mentally tired (due to the amount of assignments i have this term, seriously, it's not funny), I will be physically drained out too. It's only 2nd week and I already have tons to do and I'm behind.

What am i going to do on a Friday night tmrw?

Ohhh... I am going to be in the library ... JOY!

On a positive note, my VO2 max is 48.2 ml/kg/min :) It's.... GOOD!!! And people pay 100 bucks to get their VO2 max ... Ohh I just saved a 100 bucks :p

And ohh yeaa.. I'm not staying home anymore. Moved to sylvia park during the start of 2nd semester. It's a pretty nice place. At the bottom is office space where my parents work at, and at the top, is a 2 bedroom apartment. Location is great. So close to shopping and so close to the train station. Hence, I'm saving heaps of money on petrol coz public transport now is cheaper! My housemate is karen, a very nice, super fit, long distance runner girl, whom I met through Siew Aun during the Cameron's trip back in early 2007. She's here to do sports science as well. So yeaa.. i think that's about it. If any of you do drop by sylvia park for shopping, don't hesitate to buzz me and visit me! I'm living right across the road :D

So that's all the update I have right now. Application to sydney is still not done yet. Am procrastinating!! What's new huh?

Good Night.

less than 5 minutes

Less than 5 minutes

In less than 5 minutes, my dad managed to give a very good reason as to why I should choose Sydney instead of AUT. He helped me made the decision so fast!

Now... put all the feelings and doubts away and bring on the huge amount of paperwork! Wish me luck. It won't be easy.

Daddy knows best eh? Hehehehe...

semester 2 starts tomorrow

Semester 2 starts tomorrow

After the Bersatu Games, the road trip ... I had one whole week of ME time. Well, not exactly one whole week as I had to help my parents with work and become a driver during ASIA games. For the rest of the time where I'm not occupied, I just lay down and think. Thinking of what's gonna happen next year.

It was only last night where I actually got hit in the head and was reminded that this will be the last semester of my undergrad degree! So fast! I'm done by the end of this semester. Though I'll still be a student, I'll no longer be an auckland university student. Heck! I might not even be a student in Auckland! No No No.... I actually do not want to end so fast. I wish I could stop time. Semester 1 went by so fast and I have a feeling semester 2 will go by pretty quick too.

I hate being in unfamiliar places, meeting new faces. I'm the kind of person who just enjoys being in her comfort zone, being familiar with everything around her. I dislike uncertainties. I want to feel secure all the time. But somehow, it seems like I'm always running into situations that keep on changing. 1st year of uni was all about stepping into a new environment and getting used to it. 2nd year of uni was about going into a whole new different country on the other side of the world and trying to fit in for 4 months. And now, 3rd year of uni is all about deciding my path next year and also moving out in the 2nd semester (more on that another day).

I want to be able to be confident in saying what I will be doing next year when people ask me about my plans. I don't want to just say "I might ...". I used to have a plan. A plan to pursue a degree in Physiotherapy at AUT for 3.5 years and still remaining in Auckland after graduating in Sports n Exercise Science. Sounds like a good plan. Being able to still be with all the friends I've made throughout the past few years. Not much changes. Just a different university. But just recently, a new option came up. Which is to head over to Sydney University and do a Masters in Physiotherapy for 2 years. Yes, I have that option now. This would mean stepping into a whole new different environment again, leaving the family, making new friends, leaving old friends. 2 years. Sure, australia is right next to nz. But still.... 2 years. That's quite a lot.

Haven't applied for Sydney Uni yet but will soon. As usual, procrastinating. Parents want me to opt for that choice. I finish faster (2 years instead of 3.5 years) and I get a Masters instead of another undergrad degree. If I'm accepted, would I go? Most likely I guess. Who wouldn't, right? Finish earlier, Masters, and get to go to Australia, gain new experience ... isn't that's what making the most out of my life while I'm still young all about?

Part of me wants to do postgrad just so that I can stay put in NZ and stop starting new chapters in life and make this chapter a longer one. Part of me wants to go to Sydney to pursue what I really want ... to be a physiotherapist ASAP and start earning money! Yes, I could go to AUT but that would take me 3.5 years and parents are more supportive with going to Sydney. Plus, Masters wei!! I always wanted to get a PHD just coz of the title but it seemed impossible as the years went by. So now, Masters will be the next best thing wei!!! *sigh* Choices... we just gotta make them eh?

Ohh wellzzz.... For now, I'm hoping to get accepted to Sydney Uni and I'll just have to cherish this last semester of mine and enjoy it to the fullest and make the most out of it. Just hope time slows down this semester for me so I can enjoy every single moment of it slowly. Pray for me please.

"... and just when you thought you found something after looking for so long, you have to part with it soon ..."

That's life huh?

Have a wonderful semester 2 people!! May it be much better than first semester!! Enjoy it to the fullest for those who's in the same boat with me. Last semester of your degree!!!!

A reflection on the past semester

A reflection on the past semester... (blogged during the exam period but was left sitting in my drafts)

Looking back, it went by pretty damn quick, especially the second half of the semester. So many things happened. So many things that I did not blog about. During the week, if I don't have lectures, I would find every single opportunity to head to the library to get readings, assignments and reports done. The only time I don't spend time at the library would be when there's UMSA meeting, work or... I have to eat. Even my time spent eating got cut down. Rawrr! Ohhh.. there's the occasional mid-week runs just to destress before battling it out at the library at night again. And weekends, if it's not sports, it would be.... library again.

What happened to those weekly hang outs? All those weekend spontaneous dinners? Those spontaneous lunch dates? Hulu cat? There were a few but.... RARE... so RARE last semester. And shopping ... I haven't been shopping. For once, I missed out on Queen's birthday weekend sales. I chose to hang out in the library instead of strolling down the streets, whipping out cash and spending it. I even missed out the dressmart sales where they had 50% off Nike stuff and I did not go to that! For goodness sake!! I'm earning some money now and I'm becoming even more stingy? Farrr!!!!! Ohh I blame Canada for teaching me to only spend on necessary stuff :p Ohhh.. there's also the rising petrol prices to blame for... eating me slowly....

And I also blame time. Time was just scarce last semester, that you'd find every single opportunity to get your work done. And the other ... was because I'm a stressed person, walking around and really couldn't be bothered to crack a joke or just be lame. And if I were to go to any social events, I'd come back thinking.. Man, that was a waste of time. At times, I just feel that I'm a person walking around spreading out negative aura that I'd rather just be alone and not harming others.

On the other hand, not all was bad. There were still the tiny lil things that made it not too bad and made me hang on... coz there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and no, it's not a moving train :p There's always sports to look forward to, the mid-week runs, the few meet ups with people I haven't seen for quite some time, the occasional jokes here and there, and then....... believe it or not... WORK.

I did not actually mentioned this properly in my blog have I? but yeaa... I've started working at a swim school at the start of this year, teaching lil rugrats how to swim and sometimes hoping they would drown :p My very first part time job which lasted for more than a month and is still going strong. The Billabong work at the start of last yr was just a joke. Lol! But yeaa.. I do enjoy my current work. Sure, I do dread having the thoughts of having to go and work every tues and thurs, soaking myself in chlorine for 3 hours and having my hair turned brown when I could have been studying. The only thing that consoled me was.... Sher Mayne, think about the money, think about the money!! For it gets frustrating when they can't do what you ask them to do and it takes a heck lot of patience with them. There will be days where they just can't deliver what you expected them to achieve, there will be kids that scream at you and don't listen to you, there will be kids that will come up with all kinds of excuses to why they aren't swimming well .... And then there's the parents... sitting by the poolside staring at you and seeing how you handle their kids. And the constant worry in your head of not being able to deliver what the parents are expecting off you.

So... what made me still enjoy the job? The fact that they are kids. I was once a kid. And I bet I was just like any one of them, who would come up with all kinds of excuses not to swim, who would do anything to make the teacher annoyed and just see how well they can put up with me :p And one thing with kids is that at the end, they'll never disappoint you. Sure it might take weeks for them to pick up a skill .. there'll be times where you think.. man, they're hopeless.... and the next time they come, they surprise you and it just makes everything wonderful. Your effort is never wasted. Ohh and have I mentioned how cute these kids can be? You get kids dancing to Soulja Boy in the pool!! And because they are in the water, it makes them light so when you want to let out frustration, you can just pick them up and throw them back into the pool. So for me, it's a form of releasing my anger and to them, it's a form of fun. It's a two-way thing... and seeing the joy in their faces and hearing their laughters just makes me happy. All the worries about uni and miscellanous stuff just temporarily gets drowned under the pool and not to be seen and thought about. Full attention on those kids. And also, these kids are a cheap form for boosting my ego. So on days where I feel really down and helpless, all I have to do is swim a few strokes of butterfly or do a couple of tumble turns and these kids will be like.. OooOO!! Do it again, do it again! Ok, fine ... I might be a clown to them but hey.. it makes me feel appreciated ok :p So yeaa.. it's really the tiny lil things, the tiny lil ones that makes everything OK :D

And now.. here's just some photos taken using my phone throughout semester 1 ... pretty random... lolx!

During lantern festival .. a lot a lot of kuih bingka!!


During food night... a lot a lot of sambal!!!

I can squeeze a netball team in the Mirage.... with Marilee in the boot :p She loves it...

My other half "studying" in the library with me.... hahaha! sleep sleep sleep only...sorry but i just had to put these up :p orelse i wouldn't be shermayne...haha!

And then that's Jellymi.. who was supposedly meant to study as well... play game pulak!! caught on camera!

The condition of my table when completing my education essay...


i can remember this.. taken on queen's birthday ... stuck in the library completing my 60% written analysis.. it was worth it in the end .. A+ :)

What kept me going throughout the semester... hot choc, red bull, water

During one of the volleyball trainings.. where Boon, Jeremy and Swan were wearing purple on the same day!!!!

Greedy Shaun with a whole lotta KFC!!!

And so.. that's semester 1 for me. What's up for semester 2? Stay tuned.

Choices

Choices

Choices choices choices. Life is filled with choices, filled with uncertainties. And at some point, the thought of making choices just scares me.

Along with choices comes risks. I hate taking them. But it seems like I've been taking quite a lot since last year. And now.. here's another one coming for me. Still in the process of making that choice, taking that step. Can I even take it? Is it even possible? And if it is, should I even go for it and take that chance?

So many BUTs and WHAT IFs ...

This is ... LIFE.

This is what makes it colourful.

No biggie, I'll get through this. I always do. Just need to have a lil faith ... and some luck of course ;)

Netball Bersatu Games 2008 Wellington

Wellington Bersatu Games 2008- Netball

(a very very long post ... something that I want to remember for the rest of my life!)

Woke up to a very windy and wet morning. All of us were told it was gonna be indoor. On the day itself, I was like.... sweet! indoor, no need to wear thermals. It's cold out there but thank goodness it's gna be indoor. When we got to the venue, all we saw were outdoor netball courts. We were all shocked. We weren't told it was changed to outdoor. If they want to change it, at least tell us the night before so that we can prepare ourselves for the weather. Not happy, not happy at all. But hey! The game must go on.

seeking for shelter when we first arrived

yes, we auckland girls need our morning massage

At least there was shelter to stay under when we weren't playing games. Got the girls to warm up by passing balls, jumping on the spot before every game. Space was limited so we couldn't run around. It was too cold and wet and windy outside for warming up. Felt kinda silly as we were the only contingent warming up indoors. But since we come from the warmer part of NZ, so got excuse la... Before our very first game, we went outdoor and played a bit under the rain. Went through the strategies and got a feel of shooting.

being afraid of the cold, we did our warm up indoor :p

First game ... against WMSO. I saw the WMSO players and the team consisted of a lot of familiar faces, i.e. experienced players. I was scared, I was nervous. We couldn't afford to lose our first match since we will be up against the defending champions from last year, CMSA, later on. I really wanted to get at least a 3rd place for netball. Since our team only consisted of mostly new players, with swan and i being the only "oldies" (we're not old ok... lolx! got ppl older than us still in the team :P), I aimed for a 3rd placing, didn't want to put too much pressure on the girls. Before the game, I told the girls that we can do this. Our opponents are experienced players but I believe that we can do it. We haven't lost a single game during the friendly games, even when we played against the guys, we haven't lost. The weather won't stop us. We've been training outdoors. We even trained under the rain, we played under the rain. This is no difference. Apart from the wind. Plan was to try leading all the way. Don't slack. Use the strategies, watch our passes. Take it slow. Not too sure what the score was against WMSO but we were leading all the way. Weren't leading much. Throughout the whole game, we probably only scored 7 goals in total. It was so hard to shoot. The wind blows the ball away. So annoying.

notice anything in this picture? just look at the netball net and u'll roughly know how strong the wind was and why it was so annoying.

Don't get to witness Illina's long range shots. She had to do near shots to prevent the wind from blowing the ball out of the court. The win against WMSO gave us a boost of confidence. We can do it! Plus, the ref was an outsider, hence no bias. Which was an advantage for us since we lost last yr due to bad ref and bad calls. Besides the annoying wind, the rain wasn't too bad. Sure the ground was wet but it wasn't slippery like the windmill courts. Hence, I wasn't afraid to jump or sprint and do fakes. I'm sure the girls felt the same way too.

Next game, Petsoc. Depsite thrashing them 8-0, we did not play as well as the previous game. It was kinda messy. A lot of bad passes. I got called for quite a lot of stepping too. The play was everywhere. We slacked. Kinda worried as the next game is gonna be against CMSA. I guess too much confidence isn't too good. It happened before. That's what I felt what happened last year. When we become friendly, we slack, we lose. When on court, we have to be serious. Forget the friendliness. After game only be friendly. This is a competition. Not a social game. We all had to be reminded that if we were to play like how we did with Petsoc against CMSA, we'd lose. We have to play like how we played against WMSO or even better. We can't afford to slack. After winning two games, if we beat CMSA, we'd be first in our pool. Seeing how the girls played and being so strong, my target changed to getting a silver now. It'd be great if we could break the curse of a the bronze placing.

The game against CMSA was pretty close. It was scary and nerve-wrecking. Their shots were going in. Their defence was strong and it was hard to breakout of it. Point difference was close throughout the game. Sometimes we lead, sometimes they lead. But in the end, we won, hence placing us at the top of our pool and through to semis.

look at Illina doing a jumping shot!! bwahahahaha! unstoppable!

Played UMNO for the semis. If we won the game, we'd break the Bronze Curse. The hope of breaking was high. Very high. I really want it. I told the girls I want it a lot and then we can do it. We are so close. So very very close. I'd be super duper happy if we win the game. Swan wants it as much as me. A silver. A nice looking silver instead of a bronze. And if we got a gold, I'd jump off the harbour (depending on weather condition la...). I said that because getting a gold would just be so unbelievable. As we played UMNO once back in auckland and we won it, we had a higher chance of winning. But what scared me was knowing that Adiba can shoot.. from far and very accurate. Plus, we did not lead much during the friendly game back in auckland. They might have improved a lot after that. Who knows? We had a shaky start to the game. They scored the first point. No doubt I was nervous and choked a few times. At one point, I had to actually stop, take a deep breath before passing the ball to slow myself down. We made a lead during the 2nd half. Winning the semis with a score of 8-3. I was overjoyed. Finally the curse is broken! Swan had tears in her eyes apparently but couldnt really tell coz it was raining. Our faces were all wet anyway. It felt great. I also wanted to cry. A confirmed silver in our hands and perhaps maybe a gold. Getting into the finals for the first time. So proud, so proud of the girls. Each and everyone of them.

Two auckland teams met in the finals. UMSA vs Petunia. I couldn't really ask for more after knowing we got the silver. I was already damn freaking happy. But hey! We are so damn close to the gold. Just one more win and a double bonus in our hands, the champions for netball. We've gone this far and have come this close. Before the finals, we all reminded each other about all the early morning trainings during the weekends. How we sacrificed our sleep-ins during the weekends for netball. How we played under the rain, under the cold, sliding, slipping and falling. All the torture training outdoor instead of indoor just to get longer training times and not having to book courts. All the crap and criticism we've been giving each other. All the torture Mama-san Audrey have been giving us to make us tougher. We've beat Petunia is one friendly match as well, our chances are high. It all comes down to how much we really want it. And I guess being reminded with all the trainings we've gone through, we really want it.. A LOT!!! Being soaked in our jerseys, wet socks and shoes, it did not help with having the wind getting stronger just before our finals and rain getting heavier. It got so cold. We huddled in a circle outside, jumping and trying to keep ourselves warm. And to make us focus for winning the gold, our chant was ... "No more windmill.. no more windmill" ... yes, weird chant...

The game started off with us having the sucky end, i.e. the end where u can't really shoot any balls in coz the wind is too strong. The good end is the end where the goal post is sorta sheltered by the building hence not affected much by the wind. During the first half, none of my balls were going in. I was so frustrated and panicked and choked. Thank goodness Illina managed to score 3 goals. After the first half, it was a tie. 3-3. I was so damn scared. I really wanted the gold then and there. Thank goodness for everyone else in the team who calmed me down after the first half. Just play the game and have fun.

the girls standing strong during the break after the first half with petunia... all determined!

During the second half, we got the good end. Had to make full use of the good end and make every ball go in. Thank goodness I was on form then. My shots went in. I didn't have time to look at the scoreboard and was just playing. The supporters were at the side shouting and asking us to slow down. I always have a problem with slowing down. Guess the monkey in me just wants to play it fast. But towards the end, my thigh started to cramp. I couldn't really run. Marilee had cramp in both her legs. And hence, the game indeed slowed down. And ............. *whistle blows* ... Game over. I didn't know who won. Had to ask rayvin and ... We Won!! 7-3!!! I couldn't believe it at first till I saw the rest of the girls jumping for joy. Can't believe it man. We did it. We actually did it! Far out!!! Awesome. Simply awesome. Went over to congratulate the Petunia players as well. They were good and was so happy for them as well. From not getting into semis last year for them, to getting into the finals. Well done!! Top 2 teams both from Auckland. Beat that!!! It was simply wonderful. Ahhh!! Even blogging about it right now just makes me feel all nostalgic. Despite the choking and frustration, I really enjoyed the finals. Just knowing that both auckland teams are playing against each other was just great because there wasn't much rivalry and more towards friendliness in the end. It was a game where you would actually apologize to the players during the game. A game where one gets worried when their main player, Afiqah, was down and out, instead of feeling relieved. A game which ended with both teams hugging and congratulating each other. Unity. That's how it should be.

After the finals. Congratulating and hugging the opponents.. look at me! so happy! hahaha!

UMNO played CMSA for the 3rd/4th placing. We were all cheering for UMNO. If they win, it would be having all the auckland teams dominating 1,2 and 3. But I guess it was too good to be true. CMSA won in the end. But hey, history was still created. With all three Auckland teams making it to the finals and 3rd/4th placing. You don't see that for Christchurch, Wellington or Otago. Auckland as a whole, rocks!!!

To UMSA netball girls:
Well done to all of you. You girls did me proud. I really couldn't ask for more. I would have apologized for torturing all of you with the outdoor windmill courts training as they would seem pointless if we were to play indoor. But I'm not going to now. Hehehehe.... those trainings indeed paid off under this type of condition. I guess everything happens for a reason eh? Sorry for all the early morning trainings though but it was done to suit the majority. I hope you girls enjoyed netball and will continue playing this sport and perhaps get a gold next year as well?

Illina- a great shooter. Far shots, medium shots, close shots ... all beautiful. She joined the team wanting to play defence but became a wonderful shooter in the end. Her far shots always leave me in awe. If only it was indoor, then everyone get to witness all her amazing, jaw-dropping long shots. Nevermind, next year, next year! I do hope she comes back and play for UMSA. Best promising female athlete wei!!!

Naomi- started off not knowing how to throw or catch the ball. Not knowing where to run and breaking out slow. Why I chose her? Because she's fit. She's a tough fighter. Willing to learn and willing to accept all sorts of criticism. A hard-worker who would practice ball passing with christine during the weekdays. Once she got the hang of it, it was beautiful. Her lobes were great and she knew when to use them. Everytime when she throws me a beautiful lobe ball, I will be so damn proud of her. Girl, you rock!! Very potential player to be the next GA too :)

Marilee- What can I say? A blessing to have. High speed, high stamina. Good things comes in small packages huh? She's really a machine. Height and size does not matter for this girl. Good ball skills and she finds space really well. Always there when I needed her. Still can remember one of the games where we were attacking and she was facing the wrong direction. Rachel shouted and she turned the other way round and got called for stepping resulting into a turnover. Lolx! So blur but so funny... so cute!!!!! I think she's a better monkey than me man!!!

Pui Li- The girl who went there with only a very thin jacket on but still stood strong. Always consistent with her footwork. She's got the best balance in the team and never ever get called for stepping. Really admire that in her. She's always on form and ready to go whenever, whereever. One who would stand under the rain and watch us play when not playing and cheering for us and keep us going too. Girl, I love your spirit. Thank you so so so much.

Christine- The girl who probably received the most crap from the team and mama-san during trainings. Doesn't know how to find space, can be very lost, can't really throw or catch balls. No ball skills. A rather slow learner. Why did I take her into the team in the very first place? Coz she's fit, she can run. She's tough and can accept all sort of craps. Still remembered during the trainings where Audrey was always targetting her, making her repeat the drills over and over again until she makes no mistake. She hung in there, never ever show whether she was unhappy or not. She took it all. There were people questioning why I took her into the team, even she asked me as well. My immediate answer was because she can run and I just believe in her that she can do it. But it took ages to see any results, any improvement. At one point, I also questioned myself as to why I did that. I was hitting myself on the head for being silly as I just judge a person by their fitness and not their skills for I always thought skills can be picked up. Just needed to have some patience. There were times where I really wanted to lose all hope but there's this thing in me that still believes in her. I have no idea why. Call me silly and ignorant. It was only towards the very end of all the trainings where you could see some improvements in this girl. Yes she can still be blur at times and sometimes can't catch the ball but what I like about her is that she marks her opponent well and shuts them down. During the attacking part, she can find space too. She played well during the Games and I'm also so proud of her. She's got this burning fire in her that just makes her tough. Christine, I hope you will continue playing netball and pick up more skills. You can do it!!

Rachel- one who would always give advice during the trainings and throughout the games. She will be at the other end screaming when we are attacking. "Use your butt! Use your butt!" ... "Hands up!! Catch the rebound!!" ... Hahahaha!! An experienced netball player in school that I'm grateful to have. A good defender that really puts a lot of pressure on the attackers when they are shooting. Ohhh...I just love our defence. Solid. Strong! Even the ref was calling out "Good D, Good D!" during the game. Hehehehehe...

Ying Swan- my other half. My co-captain. She's always there to lend an ear when I just needed someone to talk to when I'm unhappy. Again, she's the one that just keeps me going and not giving up. She's always there to help me make my decisions, to assure me that I'm doing the right thing. Truly my other half, can't live without her. Perfect defence as well. Beautiful, oh so beautiful!!! Everytime when the opponent are attacking, I will just stare and just admire our defence. Alalalalala!! Steady man!!! And during the attack, she's always the one to rush out and get the ball from Marilee. Too fast for the opponents. Just too fast. Nyehehehehhee...

To the supporters on the day itself:
Rayvin, Angie, Kauthar ... three UMSA supporters throughout the whole thing. But the number doesn't matter. It's the cheering and their spirit that makes it all good. Thank you guys for willing to hold our jackets, water bottles, standing under the heavy rain and cold weather just to support us. I really couldn't thank you guys enough. Thanks for slowing down the play as well when we were going too fast and cheering us on. There were also other supporters from other contingents towards the finals which I would like to thank. Could hear them cheering when we scored a point which helped a lot in keeping us going. Thanks!!
And then to Darren and Mag, who turned up after our finals. My bad for not checking my phone and replying earlier on. But really, thanks so much for turning up despite the sucky weather. It was just so great to see you guys there after our win. It was the thought that counts. So touched. Thank you!!!

To those who helped out with our trainings:
Dallas, Matt, Celest, Jeremy, Boon, Adrian, Roger, Alex, Wei En, Henry, Sheng, Kai Ann (I hope I didn't miss out anyone) - these were the people who made up the other team so that we have someone to play against. It was really great fun playing with you guys and I hope we can play more social netball this coming semester!!

Shaun, Rayvin, Ivan- thanks for playing for us during the KAC-UMSA netball game so that we didn't lose hence maintaining our clean record of not losing a single netball game and boosting the team's confidence. Hehehehe... To shaun, thank you for showing all the girls that even a guy can play netball and being so good. To ivan, thanks for teaching us that triangle drill and how to defend which really helped A LOT! To rayvin, you played a really important role during the bersatu games itself telling us what to do and don't slack.

Lastly, the woman behind all of these - Audrey aka Mama-San. Who drilled the team and make us tough. Who was willing to sacrifice her weekend mornings and train us. Without you, I would be so lost and have no idea how to train up the team. Pity you couldn't go down for the Games but you were always in my heart. I hope we girls did you proud. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My mission ... way beyond accomplished for netball. What's next? Indoor netball!!! And perhaps still social outdoor netball. Bersatu Games netball next year? I will just leave it to the girls. Most probably won't be playing Bersatu anymore. 3 years is enough. I've already achieved way beyond what I wanted. Time to give others the opportunity to play. I will still play netball but yea... enough trainings and enough worrying. But hey! It was all worth it :D

BACK!!

BACK!!

Tired. Road trip from Wellington all the way back to Auckland. Though I slept most of the way and did not drive :p

Nevertheless... enjoyable, memorable, cherishable ...

Wellington Bersatu Games 2008 Overall Champion - UMSA!!!

I got what I dreamt for and way beyond that.

Mission... Accomplished.

Will update more soon....