we all live in fear everyday

We all live in fear everyday

As much as I want to stop studying, sometimes I wish this year will not end.

There's just so much uncertainties. Even with my holiday plans at the end of the year, I just do not know what's best to do. I wish I can split myself in many parts and be in many places at once.

Where will I be next year? Where will you be next year? Everything is just so uncertain, there isn't a clear plan which scares me really. I don't know why.

See how things go. Go with the flow. That's what I've been telling myself all these while. Sounds simple, or is it really?

please please please.. i'm just praying everyday. Praying for a clearer picture.

First week home

Time... FLIES. And now I'm left with only 3 weeks left.

What have I been up to?

Attended the Bersatu Games 3 out of the 4 days as a helper/supporter/coach. I was in charge of the first aid, mainly whacking ice on people... strapping ankles, knees, wrists, thumbs ... and giving people the deep heat cream when they needed it. I am glad I need not rub it on many people. Just 3 I think. And then whilst waiting for someone to get injured, I get to watch the games and cheering for UMSA. Quite disappointing really because they make it to the semis, coming top of their group and then...... gone.... not even 3rd. It puzzles me really but... ohh well.....

And lastly, I had the privilege to coach the UMSA's netball team. I came back last Tuesday and attended their training the following day at the rec centre. First time meeting them and there were lots to work on. The team were mainly new players, with Marilee and Naomi being the old ones only. Got to meet mama-san and my other half as well which was GREAT!!! We played for 2.5 hours, trying to pass on as much pointers as possible, getting to be noisier on court and communicating.

Friday morning, it was just me and the girls at Windmill and that took my whole morning. From 9-12 ... but it was REWARDING. The girls are so eager to learn and are always asking for feedbacks and how they can improve. They do not complain and when it started to rain, they wanted to keep playing still. They are not playful and they really listen. My morning wasn't wasted at all. However, there isn't much time left till the games and it was the last training session. How I wish I had more time with them.

Today, Tuesday, was the netball game. Swan was busy umpiring the games and so I was there to give the team pointers, screaming my lungs out at the sideline. Reached the rec centre at 7.30am hoping to squeeze a quick training sessions in before the games.

First game, it was against UMNO. I was told that UMSA got thrashed by UMNO during the friendly. And in the game, they got thrashed 2-8 by UMNO. I am still quite puzzled as to why they got thrashed because.... UMSA won WMSO and CMSA whereas UMNO lost to CMSA and tie with WMSO. Could it be the mindset that UMNO is better than UMSA because of the friendly match and therefore the team were not confident in beating UMNO? or could it be because UMSA players are usually very blur for their first game in the morning? I remembered back in Otago when we played CMSA and lost to them in our morning game and won them in the 3rd-4th placing. We were all blaming it on the early morning game. So I wonder if this was the case as well. Haha!!

But yeaa.. whatever it is.. UMSA netball grabbed the SILVER!!!! CMSA got the gold because of goal difference (CMSA won OMSA 18-1, UMSA won OMSA 10-2)... and that was what determined it. And UMNO came 3rd. So happy for the girls as I was just expecting a bronze from them. Came the final game between OMSA, I realized the girls are either in for a silver or a gold but they will need to beat OMSA by 20 points to get the gold. It was a huge pressure and I think that was what made them played badly during the first half of the game with OMSA (2-2 after first half). Before the 2nd half, I knew that they won't be able to score over 20 and told them to just play their game, and settle for silver. And they ended scoring quite a lot, ending it with a 10-4 win. Arghh!! Regret for putting the pressure on them... Ohh well!!!! Best game I enjoyed watching was the game between WMSO. The defence were beautiful and were following the opponents really tight and pressuring them. PURRRRR-FECT!!!! The mid-fielders were finding spaces and communicating.... and the shooters were using their bum and communicating in the D, playing TOGETHER!!!!!! After first half, I think the score was 5-1? The girls fumbled towards the end and ended with a 7-4 win I think and the defence got tired. But yeaa... it was good to see how they were keeping it tight throughout and taking what I said into the game.

The games were pretty intense, and I felt like some crazy girl, walking up and down the sideline, yelling "DEFENSE!!!!... get back get back!!!! .... stick your bum out!!!! .... mark her tight!!!!!!.... go behind go behind!!!!" But yeaa.. I'd do anything laaa not to lose.... Though I'm not playing, somehow I just felt that UMSA needs to win. It was once my team and I just wanted UMSA to still have a spot in the placings. And the silver was a bonus!!! First time to get Silver. It's always been bronze.... history was made back in 2008 with a GOLD.. and now... 2010... SILVER... so now all three medals have been achieved :) Woohooo!!!!

So yeaa.. well done to the UMSA netball team of 2010!!!! I see a lot of potential in this team which is made up of mainly new players who are eager to play next year. I really hope they do come back and play on and build on the team and get back the GOLD!!!!

And soo.. that was where my one week went to.

Also had momo tea with the oldies, momo tea with a high school friend, spent time with the monkey.... and also...started first day of work at the gym to earn so moolahh$$ :)

Now I'm waiting for the other half to be free and go and watch ECLIPSE!!!! Can't wait to drool on JACOB!!!!

going home

GoInG HoME!!!

I am going HOME today!!!!!!!!!!

Yeaaaa baby!!!!

See you aucklanders SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOPPPTEEEEeeeeeeeEEEDOOOOoooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holidayyy

HOLIDAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being a physiotherapist is SO REWARDING ... and I say this eventhough I'm paying to work for now. I'm paying $4500 for every 5 weeks. That's insane right?

Imagine what it will be like when I start earning money??

Despite the exhaustion, the frustrations, the challenges, the ups and downs, the smell of diarrhoea and pee ... In the end, I find it so self rewarding when I see those tiny improvements and changes that I help to make.

I'm definitely going to work in a hospital when I come out as a fresh graduate. I hope this enthusiasm in me stays for at least a few years. After every 5 weeks of my placement, I reflect and I find myself having no regrets in choosing this course. In fact, I'm so thankful to have chosen it. I compare myself to other professions in the hospital and see what they do. And I think, being the physio for the patients is the best!! I don't envy the other professions. I am glad I'm a physio.

I never thought I would find something that I enjoy doing and will eventually be paid for it. I think I have.

urghhhhhh

STREEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

PANICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!

Screw this shit la!!!!!!!

FARRRRRR OUT!!!!!!

Had a bad afternoon and when I got home, even more things to deal with....... URGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

feel like procrastinating

Just feel like procrastinating so I'm blogging ...

I had THE best long weekend last week alone
- Saturday: no sports strapping so I slept in till 9.30. Went for a long run/walk for 2.5 hours. Went for a swim, then to the spa, then to the sauna. Had curry chicken for dinner :) Watched an episode of GLEE that I missed last week.
- Sunday: Slept in till 9.30 again. Did grocery shopping, rented a DVD for FREE. Watched Cool Runnings on TV. This is such a hilarious movie!!! It's an old movie but to those who haven't watch it, you HAVE to!!!! Too funny MAN!!! Watched Ella Enchanted on TV as well after that. I am so glad I do not need to go up to Newcastle that Sunday!!! Went for steamboat buffet with Lucas, Thaddeus and Laura. We sat there for 2.5 hours. Wanted to go see the Fire Water at the Rocks but we decided to make our money worth. Got home, watched Invictus. The DVD I rented. Went to bed halfway.

- Monday: Finish up Invictus. It was a pretty good movie. I loved it. Movies about sports are always so inspirational. Add Morgan Freeman into it, lagi best!!!

And this week during prac....

I saw a cranioplasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is where they slice up the person's head, peel that layer of skin over, and put back part of the person's skull :p Awesome much??? I saw it from the very start. they had to shave his hair off before the slicing. The best part was when the surgeon start to slice the skin. It's like using a blade and just cut along. and you see all the blood oozing out.... Too Cool!!! And then after that, they took part of his skull which was stored in the bone bank for a few months and try to fit it back to his head. It's like completing the puzzle. It didn't fit cause of some ossification after a few months since the bone was out so they have to remove some of it. Then also they didn't peel enough of the membrane off so they had to peel more before fitting the bone back. It took quite some time and when they were about to put the bone in and screw it up to complete the puzzle... I had to leave as it was 4.30 already and I was catching a ride from Nat :( But yeaa.... it was still so cool!!!! I got to see the best part already which was the start...... I got to wear scrubs and look like those people in grey's anatomy. Wooot wooot!!!!! Syok sendiri.... hehehehe....

And now with the final week of prac coming up....

- I am super exhausted

- Ward meeting on Tuesday

- Case presentation on Wednesday

- Assignment due on Thursday

- Final Assessment the whole week

- Final Feedback on Friday

- And of course.... Saving more lives :p Haha!!!!

- I predict a busy busy week because most of my patients that I was looking after were discharged. Me and my miracle hands? Ekekekeke.....It was the calm before a storm pretty much.... patients getting discharged means... more empty beds... meaning more new ones coming in....

It's quite funny to think how nearly everyday someone gets a stroke!!!!!

Oh week 5, hurry up and be over. I want my HOLIDAY!!!!!

Glee's Poker Face

Glee Version of Lady Gaga

Me thinks it's SOOO MUCH BETTER!!!!! Especially Poker Face. I never liked the song Poker Face. I found it rather annoying. Perhaps it's because it was overplayed at one point. Many will disagree but this is just my point of view.

Until I watched this on TV last night... I was in awe. I like the song now! Glee version that is. It took me awhile to realize it's Idina Menzel !!! Go to 5:52 of this video to see the Glee version of Poker Face and you will know what I mean.

I love Glee :p A good tv show to watch just to de-stress and lose your mind. Never fail to make me feel all smiley, warm, fuzzy and cheerful :) What'd ya reckon? Agree? No?

finally

Long weekend!!!!

Finally a Queen's Birthday Weekend that I can enjoy. I recalled the previous ones in the past few years. It was always during exams and didn't get to enjoy this long weekend. Got so many big plans for this weekend. I'm so excited and was looking forward to all my plans the whole week. Will tell you about it later.

This year, I don't have any exams this semester. And hence, this Queen's Birthday weekend is to be enjoyed fully!!! The other day, Nat and I was talking about last year. How we were cramming so hard for the exams. Gosh!!! we both agreed it was the worst time of our lives. Most stressful time. I am glad I have crossed that barrier. Phew!! Definitely do not want to go back to last year.

And so ... this shall be a GOOD weekend. This whole week felt super long for some reason. Everyone is just so over it. Just so exhausted and can't wait for the 5 weeks to be over. I am not surprised that the burnout rate for physios are relatively high now. But I guess it won't be that bad when I start earning money!! This long weekend is a much looked forward break. And after that, it's 2 more weeks!! Woohoooo!!!

And my busy plans for this weekend?

Rest, stay at home, do nothing, sleep in, have no plans with anyone, sit in front of the tele, eat, recuperate... and maybe... if i can squeeze it in, maybe a run. But nothing else. Too busy!!!

On a different note, Darling Harbour will be having a huge FIFA fan fest throughout the duration world cup. Live matches will be broadcasted on massive floating screens. I'm gonna make sure I watch at least one match from it just because I can :p

Hehehehe....

Power Yoga

Power Yoga

So I haven't seen much of Newcastle really. Everyday it's just home --> hospital. Hospital --> home.

But this Sunday, Nat drove up and I caught a ride with her. Finally a car to get around!

For once, we made it home today from the hospital before 5pm since we didn't need to wait for the bus.

So anyway... she dragged me to my very first yoga session today. It's power yoga so it's more fast paced according to her. Thank goodness it is coz I won't be able to hold the same position for that long. I have stretched muscles I have never stretched before.

And I swear... I have never sweat so much in my entire life before. It felt good at the end tho. Perhaps it was because of the heated room.

I was sweating so much that the mat became so slippery that I lost my balance a few times. Not like I had good balance anyway. So imagine just how many time I lost my balance. Now i finally realized why people were putting towel on top of the yoga mat.

Will I do it again? For the next 10 days, YES. Coz I paid $19 for introduction trial of 10 days. Hehehehe.. in the future? I don't know. It's too expensive.

But yea.. good sweaty experience :p

Little House

Little House in Dear John

I love this place

But it's haunted, without you

My tired heart Is beating so, slow

Our hearts sing less than we wanted, we wanted

Our hearts sing 'cause

We do not know, we do not know

To light the night to help us grow

It is not said I always know

You can catch me

Don't you run, Don't you run

If you live another day in this happy little house

The fire's here to stay,

To light the night

To help us grow, To help us grow

It is not said, I always know

Please don't make a fuss It won't go away

The wonder of it all

The wonder that I made

I am here to stay, I am here to stay

Sweet voice. An angel's voice. She is good. Gives me goosebumps.

Nice movie :)

Made me miss you even more more. Bring me back my 2008 please.

Wicked Weekend

Wicked Weekend!!

Shaleeni came for the weekend from Port Augusta. For those who do not know, she is my swimming friend way back in Malaysia in those swimming days. She's now working as a pharmacist, in Port Augusta, out in the woop woops, 3 hours from Adelaide.

I have not seen her for 3.5 years. But we still keep in contact every so often through facebook, emails and now on the phone since I am in Australia now and calling from 3 to 3 is included in my plan.

After much planning, she finally came to Sydney for a visit. Perfect timing as I just finished my 2nd placement and have one week off. And as a bonus, mum and dad were here so we could go and see places other than the city.

She arrived Friday night. Caught a train to Town Hall. That girl... got down at Wynyard station and was claiming she's at Town Hall. I was at Town Hall station waiting for her and I swear I couldn't see any lost person wondering inside. After much wandering around, I finally realized she's at Wynyard. I called and ask which station she's at and she didn't really know... until I asked she if she was at Wynyard station.. then only she was like.. 'oh shit!'. Hahaha.... people from port augusta, can't blame them.

Went for korean dinner in the city with mum and dad, as well as lucas and his gf. During dinner, she was talking about her life in port augusta, how it's a very small place and everyone's really friendly, about how it's very beautiful there and how you can take the boat out and see DOLPHINS!!! I am so going to plan a trip there one day in the near future!!

She then asked about if Wicked is in Sydney because she saw a lot of ads around in the train station. And I told her it is playing but I have not watched it yet. Wanted to watch it last year in November with Swan and Ivan, but we decided to spend that money on food instead :p

She have watched in when she was in Melbourne and was going on and on about how I have to watch it. I was so tempted to watch it since they're here for the second time but just don't have anyone to watch it with. She then said she'll watch it again with me if I want, she don't mind. Ahhhhh!!!! And even said it'll be my belated belated birthday present and she'll pay for it.

So when we got home, we checked out the times and there was one show on Sunday at 3pm. I was still sitting there, thinking if I should watch it or not. There was a Mother's Day special promotion and tickets were $95 bucks, 10 bucks cheaper from the usual which made it even more tempting. But, I was still thinking. It's not my money and I feel bad getting her to watch it the second time and paying for it as well.

This girl couldn't wait anymore and took out her credit card and bought the tickets!!! I guess deep inside she can tell that I really want to watch it and just bought the tickets. I was so excited!! I am gonna watch Wicked on Sunday!!!!!

So on Sunday, after my half marathon, we went for lunch at Chat Thai which was just opposite the Capitol Theatre, where the musical was gonna be at. We ordered heaps for lunch. Pauline, another swimming friend, joined us for lunch. Poor girl waited 45 minutes for us as I was rushing home after my run and getting changed. Had the yummy pandan drink, deep fried snapper, massaman curry and spring rolls. Also ordered the sweet potato balls for snack but couldn't finish them. Took the sweet potato balls into the musical. Hehehehe....

shaleeni and pauline

So after lunch and walking Pauline halfway to the train station, it was time for Wicked!! So so excited as it is my first time watching a proper musical. Been watching all those musical way back during college, performed by the drama students. I enjoyed those a lot and was really looking forward to this.

And... it was absolutely mind-blowing, amazing, fantastic, super duper whooper awesome!!

The stage set up, the lighting, the effects, the props.... it was all perfect. When it comes to a different scene, the props on the stage slides away and the new ones slides out. You don't see any backstage people dressed in black to take the props away and put in new ones. They just slide in and out by itself.

The best part was when the wicked witch sang Defying Gravity. Towards the end... it was just.... WOWWW! it left me speechless.... Let's just say the wicked witch really defied gravity. Just too impressive and you don't notice any wires/strings attached. You don't even realize when it was attached. You wonder if it was attached to her all these while. The engineers for this musical are just too intelligent.

The storyline itself fell into place so nicely with The Wizard of Oz. Throughout the whole play, you slowly realized how the tin man, the cowardly lion and the scarecrow came about. Everything just clicked. There was a reason as to why they become like that and there was a good reason behind it. The singing was good but not as good as the original one on youtube. The person playing Glinda the Good wasn't that good. At some point, it sounded like she was out of tune. But she had pretty dresses and she's pretty hot so that makes up for it. Hehehehe.... The person playing the wicked witch however had a really good voice. Love her to bits. She's my favourite character. I couldn't really see how she looked like because she was all GREEN. I call her the girl version of Incredible Hulk, minus the muscles, the size :p

I thoroughly enjoyed the musical and had a high from it until even now. Came home and downloaded the soundtrack, went to Wikipedia to read more about it, went to youtube.... And right now as I'm blogging this, I am listening to the soundtrack. My favourite is For Good. Got a bit emotional because it was going to be the last time these two witches see each other and the song was expressing how they felt for each other. How both had a huge impact on each other lives.

Also because Shaleeni sang this song and sent it to me long time ago and I fell in love with it.The lyrics are very meaningful and touched me. I think I was clapping really really loud when it ended. It was just too good.

I do not want to reveal the ending really. You would think the wicked witch died because she was misunderstood and that's sad. But... it was actually a good ending in a way.. there was a twist... and I pity the Glinda the Good at the end of the day. OoOoOOO!! Twisty ending. hehehehe.... Go look it up if you want to know why. If not, go and watch it. Come to Sydney and watch it. Or if it do ever go to NZ, you gotta watch it!! Get the good seats I reckon'. It's worth it. I got the cheaper ones, sitting on the top but Shaleeni said it would have been better to sit at the bottom. The effects are way way better.

And so, that was my Wicked experience, it was WICKED!!!!! Thanks babe for paying and watching it for the second time with me!!!

Other things we did before Sunday...

Trip to Blue Mountains with mum and dad because they had a car. My first time to blue mountains...

us at the blue mountains national park

Didn't get to walk around and explore much. It was more like a preview of Blue Mountain. Definitely going to come back again and spent the whole day walking on the many tracks they have. And also going all the way down the Giant Stairway. We only went down halfway and climbed back up because we ran out of time.

Giant Stairway Very Steep- Strong Walkers only. We only read this sign after we came up

The Three Sisters

Next was Clovelly and Coogee beach.

Had fish and chips there where I bought a jar of tartar sauce next door because as we all know, I refuse to pay $1.50 for a small packet of tartar sauce.

Massive massive waves! There were kids jumping near the rocks into the water! go to facebook to see more.

Perfect shot

At night, had dinner at Hurricane's with Lucas and his gf.

look at our greedy face.. haha!!

Followed by Passionflower ice cream after. They got really yummy asian flavours. We got taro, DURIAN, JACKFRUIT and COCONUT ice cream.

It was a wonderful weekend :)

:p Crazy shadows

Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon - 16th May 2010

Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon - 16th May 2010

The day for the hope of redemption.

I woke up at 6 having 6 hours of sleep the night before. Was out and about the day before as Shaleeni was in Sydney for visit (more on that on a different post). Had my cup of milo and 2 eggs. Put the banana in my bag and rushed out the house as I was running late. Passed my bag to shaleeni half way as she went to meet up with Lucas for breakkie and I was off to Hyde Park, the starting point of the race.

On my way to Hyde Park, I realized I left my banana in the bag. So much for having my routine breakfast eh? Fingers cross no leg cramp. I went to the very back of the starting line as there were so many people and I was late. When the race started, I felt an urge to do some 'small business'. After a few steps forward in the crowd towards the starting line, I decided, just go. So I rushed to the port-a-loo and took a dump. I didn't want to re-enact my putrajaya half marathon moment.

After 6 minutes past 7.30, I finally reached the starting line and off I go. The race was through the city. From Hyde Park to the Rocks, running along Hickson Road, going under the Harbour Bridge with the Opera House in sight, pass through Circular Quay and up the hill of Hunter Street. It was then through the Domain, making a loop at Mrs.Macquaries Chair and then a gradual slope back up. It was then back to Hyde Park and another loop was done.

I had a good start, running under 6 minutes for the first few kms. My aim was to do it under 2 hours 4 minutes. I kept on looking at my watch and doing calculations in my head throughout the run. I think that was what distracted me throughout the run. Also, another distraction was the sea of people running. Had to constantly find an open space to run. Especially at narrower lanes and corners. Didn't think about whether my legs were sore, whether I was struggling with my breathing, whether my stomach was good. Came the 5km mark, I was at 28 minutes. Sweet. If I keep running at 6 min/km, I'd finish it in 2 hours 4 mins. So if I just sprint towards the end, I'd do it under 2 hours 4 min.

As I ran up Hunter Street, I managed to maintained my pace at 6 min/km. Pass Hunter Street, I slowed down, legs were starting to get sore. But I knew the route ahead of me was going to be a nice one through the Domain. I picked up my pace. It was a slight downhill from the city into Domain and my pace was good. Just at the turn to come back up, just after the 8km mark, there it was, my distraction. Gatorade, water and GU energy gels. Take my pick. Haven't tried GU energy gels before so I grabbed one and downed it with some water. Tasted pretty good. I had the lemon sublime flavour. It was quite thick and you really need water with it. The greedy me then grabbed another one just in case I need it later on. Hehehehe.. there goes some precious time.

Came to the 10km mark, I was at 56 minutes :D :D I had a better target then. To run it under 2 hours. I just need to maintain my pace. But as I got out of the Domain, back into the city, my calves and thighs were really sore. It felt like they were about to cramp. Butt was sore too, i do not know why. I'm guessing the energy gels did not really help prevent my cramps. *sigh* I stopped by the side of the road, did some stretches but it wasn't really working. Sat down and rubbed the calves and thighs out but still quite tight. As I saw more and more runners running pass me, I wasn't happy. And so, I got up and just ran.

I ran through the city once more, taking huge strides as I ran down Hunter Street, took the opportunity to speed up as I know I was gonna have to climb back up later on and will need more time to do that. Went through the Rocks and what seemed an OK climb up Arygle Street in the first loop wasn't too OK anymore. It somehow felt a wee bit more steeper and longer. But I clenched my teeth and powered my way up. Ran down Kent Street and to Hickson road towards the Rocks. The sore calves did not go away but I was so determined not to stop or slow down. I really wanted to complete the run under 2 hours.

Reached the bottom of Hunter Street, took a deep breath in and up I went. It wasn't really a tough hill. I think I'm just weak at my legs. Mind you, my breathing was awesome throughout the whole time. No problem with that. It was just the legs. It didn't want to go anymore. I didn't look at my watch after Hunter Street and kept running.

Came the 14km mark, I was at 1 hour 18 mins. The hope of making it under 2 hours is even closer. Can la can.... and then the stupid greedy me saw more GU gels in the Domain. Same spot. Before that, I was telling myself I do not need it. Just keep running. I opened up my second pack of gel somewhere just before The Rocks on Hickson road and didn't even finish it. Was still in my hands. And so I thought I'll grab some water to finish up my second pack. And so I did. And then I grabbed two more gels to take them home. Haha!! So greedy right? But hey, I paid freaking $85 bucks and all I know is I'm getting a piece of metal after the run. I want something more. Haha! So yea.. grab the gel! Why la why? Why I so greedy? Waste time only.

On the 19th km, I was at 1 hour 48 min. This meant that I was maintaining a pace of 6km/min for the last 5km despite the greedy stop at the gels. And so, if I were to maintain the same pace or pick up my pace for the last 2km, I'd be able to achieve my target.

But .... things didn't go my way at all. The legs and bum started getting really heavy. Started to get a stitch in my tummy. My calves were really tight and it cramped up. Arghhh!!! Stopped for awhile, didn't want to stretch it and was hitting it instead to loosen it up. Haha! It did work somehow and relieve the cramp. Don't ask me how. It was still tight but tolerable. On the final km, the watch read 1 hour 54 min 47 seconds. That was the most accurate time I remembered throughout the whole run. I needed to finish my final km in 5 min 13 seconds. Which I've never done before in any of my run. In my head, I was just telling myself to give it my all. I am so close to doing it. Just go all out and have no regrets.

I tried to pick up my pace. As I came into Hyde park and with the final sprint, I had 8 seconds left. Whether I make it or not, I do not know but all I can do was to sprint. I sprinted and clocked at 2 hours 9 seconds. I was so so so gutted. 9 seconds off!!! *sigh* So close yet so far. I thought back to my previous target of under 2 hours 4 mins and felt satisfied I cut off 4 mins from my PB for a half marathon. But just gutted I couldn't do it under 2 hours when I was so close.

I feel so angry at myself. For not eating my banana. Banana prevents cramps. For being so greedy and grabbing the energy gels. That definitely took more than 9 seconds. Why la why??? For not running in preparation to the half marathon. Only ran once last week in the past 2 months. It was such a good running route. I was SO CLOSE. Maybe if I were to do it in 2 hours 2 mins, then maybe I'll feel less gutted.

On a positive side, I did achieve my earlier goal which I set before the run. It was a PB for a half marathon. I averaged at 5 min 43 secs per km. My best was the 9km run with average of 5 min 22 sec in September. But this was 21km. So I should be happy. It was the legs that failed me this time but the lungs were a machine. I attribute that to the swimming I was doing. The swimming shall be one of the training I will do from now if I do prepare for another run. And next time, I am going to make sure I incorporate some running. Who can be so silly not to run for an upcoming 21km RUN? Answer:Sher Mayne.

It was a good experiment though. To see if I can depend on swimming to help me with a half marathon. And I have came to a conclusion that it can. It really helped with the breathing and also did help mentally. Hard to explain that part but it's like.. with swimming, when I do the butterfly, there's always this strength in me to push harder till I reach the wall. I will not stop till I reach the wall. Whereas for running, if I feel like stopping, I will. I will just stop and walk. Why did I choose swimming to prepare for my half? Well, placement has been really stressed and the best way for me is to swim it off. Running won't really do the trick for me. Sometimes it does but not all the time. Whereas being in the water makes me feel so peaceful and calm. So yea... swimming in preparation for a half marathon run. Good results. I am happy with it as long as I do not think about the under 2 hours target I set for myself during the run. Haha!

Next run? I do not know. Not anytime soon. The 14km City 2 Surf is in August. Tempting but money is stopping me from doing it. Maybe I'll do the Blackmore's half marathon in September. Not sure yet. Again, it's the money that's stopping me. And there's just too much to think about. Whether or not I am strong enough mentally to train for it. That's a huge factor. I need to know that I can train before I do another half marathon. I need to make my money worth it. Will see how my 2nd sem schedule is like first before I decide on doing it.

At the mean time, it's REST REST REST. My body is aching everywhere. I can't really walk properly. Going downhill or stairs is the worst. I feel like an old lady walking around. Worst is when I'm sitting down too long and the moment I stand up, I feel like falling.

But I'm happy. I'm happy I did a PB. I'm happy I did it alone and proved to myself that I am strong and capable to push myself and to keep going. I have gained that self satisfaction once more. I discovered a new form of training for me and it is effective. Imagine what I would have accomplished if I swam AND run for my training and doing it religiously. mMmmMMMM... that would be my next ideal plan for a training :)

And.. I gained redemption from my failed night half marathon. Woohoooo!!!! I have redeemed myself from.. myself.... :D :D $85 bucks? Worth it? Hell yea!!!!

look at my two GU energy gels that cost me my 9 seconds... bwahahaha!!! ohh well... better luck next time!!

Double High sunday

Double High Sunday

I ran the half marathon. Felt a little gutted but I was still proud of myself.

I had a wicked experience, watching WICKED, the musical - for free :D As a belated belated birthday prezzie. It was superbly awesome!

More on these later, still recovering from DOMS.

Satu minggu lagi...

Satu minggu lagi...

Yep, that's right. One more week till my 2nd placement is over. Can't wait. Busy week ahead. 1 case study write up, 1 case study presentation, 1 patient's journey write up and final unit assessment.

This placement is very exhausting. Drains me out mentally and physically. Yesterday was the second time I skipped lunch, for the sake of being 'efficient and have good time management skills". And it always happened on the mornings where I choose an extra 10 mins of sleep over having a good breakkie. I just had a cup of milo. My supervisor didn't know I skipped lunch and was impressed that I see all my patients in time and without much guidance from her.

I really need to step my game up because the mid unit assessment as usual, did not go too well. Poor time management skills. So yea... if it means skipping lunch again for the rest of this week to pass, I'm gonna do it.

Will write more about it when I'm done with this placement.

On a brighter note, mum and dad are coming TODAY!!! It was sort of a last minute thing as they decided to cancel their China trip and come here instead. Ahhhh!!!!! Filled with love love love again... heeheeeheee....

Carbo-loading weekend

Carbo-loading weekend

My half marathon is in 2 weeks time.

Distance I've ran in the past 1.5 months: 0 km

I carbo-loaded myself this weekend with no intention of doing that. I think the hunger for carbs started to kick in after having salad 5 days in a row for lunch. Had two servings of pasta on Friday night, two servings on Saturday night. Followed by a huge bowl of ice cream after. Haha!! And tonight, I had two bowls of rice, steamed egg with pork (3 eggs + 100g of minced pork). I think I now have enough carbs and protein to last me for the week.

I'm gonna continue to carbo load myself. At least try. I figured since I can't get myself running, perhaps I can do the other part in preparation to my run, which is carbo loading. But then again, it might go badly coz I might end up really heavy and makes it harder to run :p

We shall see how it goes. Hehehe...

I wanna watch

I wanna watch:

The Last Song

When In Rome

Letters to Juliet

Dear John

2010

2010

It hasn't been going that great.

So many unfortunate events. Just been coming across too many.

Is it gonna get better or worst from now?

I really do wonder. I really hope it will get better.

It all happened too sudden

It all happened too sudden

One bad news after another. The worst thing that you could think of happened. There wasn't even a goodbye.

My deepest condolences goes out to a good friend of mine and his family.

I didn't really know how to react, didn't really know what to say. All that could came out from me was.. "I'm sorry". There's no words really that could ease such loss, I feel rather helpless.

You have my deepest sympathies and my thoughts and prayer are with you.

Take care my friend.

The blind side

The Blind Side

"When you open your eyes, the past is gone, the world is a good place, and it's all going to be OK"

Apart from chic flicks, I love inspirational movies that involve sports, like Remember the Titans, The Longest Yard, Coach Carter, Pride... And now, to add to my list, The Blind Side. I think the guy playing Michael Oher did a better acting job than Sandra Bullock. He doesn't say much but his expressions speak for him. Just a single smile can tell you so much about how he feels. But hey, who am I to judge? She won best actress afterall :) She was one of my favourite chic flick actress, just never imagined her winning best actress. Hehehehe....

And this song fits the movie perfectly. It doesn't hurt to take chances even if you're not sure what the future holds. You never know if you never try, if you never put in that extra effort. At least if things didn't work out, at least you can say you've tried. At least you gave it a go. You will hold no regrets.

Malaysia (part 1)

Malaysia (part 1)

After being away for almost 3 years, I finally managed to make a trip back to the place where I was born, on the 19th of January 2010. I only had one month and it went by really quick. Wished I had more time. So many friends to catch up with, so much food that I have to eat. And I do not just want to eat those food once, I want to eat them SEVERAL times. Ohh well.... perhaps the next trip?

19th Jan 2010

Depart Sydney in the afternoon and arrived KLIA at night. It was a good flight, I had two seats to myself. Was meant to have three seats but then this other girl came and sat by the window. She was rather annoying and kept on asking questions when I was watching my movies because she didn't really understand English and she didn't know how to fill out her arrival card. But still.. with the space I had, and the thought of going back home, I couldn't complain much. I was trying not to eat much of the plane food but I still ended up finishing them :S Upon arrival, I took pretty fast to clear the custom and instead of having the significant other to wait for me, I waited for him instead. Haha!! We then headed to Kelana Jaya LRT to pick my other half up. That girl came down from Penang and was spending her whole day at Pavillion wondering around and eventually went and watch 3D Avatar alone.

So after dropping my stuff at home, said Hi to my 4th aunty, we went to SS2 Murni because that was the place I have been craving the most. Went there and......... TUTUP. It was closed :( I was shocked, disappointed and was screaming... How can?????? We then ended up at William's because I do not know where the new murni was. Shen, Marc, Alex, and ular lover-Nat, came along as well to catch up after so long. Food wasn't as good as Murni's and it was PRICEY. Roti special was watery? Not going back there again. But at least it did satisfy some of my cravings and the company was good.

20th January

Since I wasn't entirely satisfied with my dinner the night before, I had to eat a really good berakfast. Went to SS17 and had my favourite Chee Yok Fun (pork ball noodles). It was GOOD. Ahhh!! My taste buds were pleased that morning. My auntie ordered extra pork intestine and stomach soup which was very peppery and yummy. Ahhhhhh!!!!!! After sending her back to the office, the three of us went to The Curve and then IKEA, and then 1U.

she stood there for ages deciding whether to buy or not... lol!

Had the curry puff at IKEA that so many have been talking about and it was good. Got egg inside lehh!! It's like eating a dai bao except it's deep fried... and BETTER!!! After IKEA and the Curve, it was to 1 utama. Didn't really know what to eat. I had cravings for popiah so just went to the food court and got one. We eventually decided on Japanese and went to the directory to look for it.

By now, Swan's water bottle incident year's back must be clearly known to most of you. Well, this time, Ivan has created an Ivan's level 1 incident in which I am never gonna let him forget about it. So there we were, looking at the directory, finding for Japanese places to eat. We found one teppanyaki place and were trying to figure out what level we were on so we can go to the restaurant. And suddenly, the monkey pointed to the 1U logo sign, which had a big 1 and yelled out confidently: "There!! Level 1!"

Swan and I looked at where he pointed, and in our minds.... we probably had a "......." moment and then looked at each other, and burst out laughing. Coincedentally, we were on level 1 so that saved his face a wee bit. But still...... You wouldn't believe how many people I've told this to and always reminding him about this incident. Just like Swan's water bottle incident year's back :p Ehehehehehehhehe...... You know, I have a feeling one day I'm going to do something really silly in front of this two people and they are not gonna let me off that easily. I just have that feeling man. But yea... share share ma... hehehe....

So anyway, after lunch, we walked around a little bit more, Swan went into most of the shoe shops trying to look for her purple Nike shoes, Ivan bought shorts, and then, we headed home. Rest, showered and then it's out again. Went to Hailam Kopitiam at SS2 for a reunion with the ex-Aucklanders. Uda, Pui Li, Joo Ann, SJ, Van, Pei Lyn were there. Didn't eat much after all the eating throughout the day. Besides, I didn't really know what to order because these 'kopitiam' places just don't cut it for me. They feel a bit fake to me. But nevertheless, it was a great night filled with lots of lameness, jokes and laughters. Good times... good times indeed.

21st January

Breakfast was at Raju's at Jalan Gasing. Had my usual roti, ayam goreng and air kelapa. Another satisfying morning. Swan was going back that day and we weren't really sure what to do. Wanted to go to that new shopping mall along Sprint Highway (I forgotten the name) but my auntie was talking about these pair of heels she saw the other day at 1 utama and it was 70% off and I do need a pair of closed toe heels. And so, it was off to 1utama again to look at those pair of shoes.
Saw it, tried it on, and got it! From RM300 down to RM90. Hehehehe.... got a black one as well for my cousin. Hehehehe...

Jane Shilton shoes

After 1 utama, we sent my auntie back to the office and dropped Swan off at the LRT station as she had to go and catch her bus back to Penang.

Went to Times Square with Ivan as well as Sungei Wang, the home of ah bengs and ah lians and very very la la clothings!! Saw some running shoes, so tempted to get them but my shoes were still fine and well, not sure if those were real ones or not. But they looked so nice!!!!! Ate at some Hong Kong restaurant that Ivan went to with his friends before. Pretty good, like Kim Gary except their "cham" (coffee + tea) is unlimited. It was pouring outside so we sat in there for quite awhile.

22nd January

Morning, had my favourite wan tan mee at DU. No wan tan mee can beat that. Been there since i was really really young and I still like going back there. Went to bank to sort out my inactive bank account. Hopefully I remember my pin this time. Had like 400 plus inside from my very first part-time job at Billabong. Hahaha!! Later, went to 1u to watch Avatar again coz Ivan haven't watched it. I didn't mind because I didn't really enjoy 3D as I spent heaps of time taking the glasses on and off and got a bit dizzy.

Met up with matt for lunch. Wanted to go try the dry laksa but there was a power cut so had some fried chicken instead. At night, went to Paramount to eat my "gong fu chao"... Somehow it didn't taste as good as before. I don't know why. Maybe coz I was too full. We wanted to go out again for supper after resting our stomach but failed. We were both super full and just wanted to sleep.

23rd January

Went to Mid Valley to meet up Vanessa and SJ to watch Sherlock Holmes. Had lunch at Kim Gary first. We went in slightly late and was kinda lost during the movie. Ivan, who never fails to fall asleep in movies, fell asleep again... had to wake him up SEVERAL TIMES. I think SJ was the only one who understood what was going on. Van and I were just looking at each other and asking what was going on. Towards the end, I started understanding what was going so it was a good movie.

When we came out, we were talking about the movie and was mentioning about the doctor.... and what do you know.... Ivan cut in and asked:" Who's the doctor?" The three of us burst out laughing and later he said again... "Isn't sherlock holmes the doctor?" ZzzZZzzzzz.... classic la.. classic!!

After movie, Vanessa had to leave. Ivan, SJ and I had to wait till dinner time because they were gonna meet up with their IH friends. Went to the food court to snack. Foong came along for a short meet up with his gf, Michelle. Those two can entertain each other day and night, or anyone for that matter. So funny la they two. Uda soon joined us later but that fella was just on the phone all the time. So 'busy'... lol!

Later, the rest of the IH gang slowly showed up. Pui Li, Wen Chien, Jonny and Yung. Had dinner at TGIF. Wanted to have Jap but the restaurant was full so TGIF it was. It was so pricey and didn't know what to order. The last time I had a meal at TGIF, I had a kid's meal because it was the cheapest. Anyway, I had some salad (yes! go me!) because I was still quite full from the snacking, and buffalo wings. Was still very full and couldn't really finish my salad. After dinner, went to Jonny's place which was very near Mid Valley. Was there till quite late just lis tening to them sing karaoke. So funny!!

Wen Chien gave us a ride home coz Ivan passed his car to his sister in the morning as she was going back to Seremban.

24th January

Sent Ivan to KTM station and then went for Jap buffet with my auntie, grandma, uncle and his wife plus the three girls. OMG!! They've grown a lot!! Well, never see them for 3 years already ma.... They've gone prettier and taller. Soon they're gonna be taller than me :(

Japanese buffet was good. It was at some hotel, I don't remember the name but it was good. Ate till I can't walk and had to go to toilet a couple of times. MmMMmm ...

After lunch, went to KTZ at SS2 for dessert to meet up some swimming friends. I tell you ar... i'm constantly eating only!! Saw Yi Wen, Yit Weng, Pauline, Matt, Hsien Ming, Annabell e and Siew Ghee. Haven't seen these people for ages and it was great seeing them again, catching up with what's going on in everybody's life. Especially Annabelle whom I haven't seen for more than 3 years because she was in the states. Finally found out about the missing case of Siew Aun from Siew Ghee. Haha!

After dessert, Yi Wen had to go back to her uni in sepang. Sent her home and had a one on one conversation in the car with her. Ekekekeke :p After that, me, pauline, hsien ming and matt went to have fried laksa!! Finally!! Nothing spectacular but it was interesting. It's just like asam laksa except it's dry. Hehehehe....

Fried laksa

I got lost on the way home from Subang. Didn't know how to go. Hahaha!! I ended up going to Shah Alam and make a big U-turn back. :p

25 and 26 January

Don't remember what I did exactly. Auntie took me shopping again and bought two dresses for CNY. She insist that I buy something new to wear. I chose one and it wasn't enough. She wasn't satisfied and asked me to look somemore. Had to choose another one. So got another one and she was finally satisfied. Both came to a total for RM 400 :O My auntie paid :) I only wore one so far for CNY, didn't wear the other one. Keeping it for next year. Hehehehe....

27th January

Ivan came with more dragon fruits, papaya and bananas. Courtesy of his father's farm. Hehehehe...

Went to Genting for the casino as I've never been there before. Before that, went to Subang for the road side Indian Rojak and cendol. Bought coconut water and an extra pack of rojak to eat for later on.

On the way to Genting, we stopped by Batu Caves because none of us been there and they were setting up for Thaipusam.

Batu Caves and my pose

Climbed up the stairs and on the way up, we saw lots of monkeys. There was one that was staring directly at us and it looked scary. Ivan still dare to look at it somemore and it was coming towards us. I was asking Ivan to look away but he didn't and the monkey kept on coming closer and closer.

And then.... VOOSH!!! It jumped towards me and snatched by bag of coconut water away!!!! Stupid monkey!!!! I was still grabbing tight to the coconut water just for a second or t wo but decided to let go because this monkey was fierce and I know it wouldn't give up. And so... there's the story of my coconut water :(

Sher Mayne-0 : Monkey-1..RAWRRRR!!

Genting was alright. Wanted to sit the rides but it was only two of us so wouldn't be fun. Went to casino and gambled away RM50 :( Aihhh... should have left earlier..... Arghhh!!! Ohhh welll.... we spent over an hour inside so that was good. Hehehehe...

statue of liberty in Genting

After Genting, went to Seremban. Reached there around 8 something and had pan mee (it was called another name but i shall just call it pan mee la) for dinner.

Got home and Ivan's mum welcomed be with lots of durian!! MmMMMM... it was good durian. Nice texture and bitter. Happy Happy.

28th and 29th January

Spent these two days in Seremban with Ivan driving me around. Went for a run at the park that he plays basketball at. Went to pasar malam and munch my way through for dinner. Saw Seremban 2 which was the newer area of Seremban and the Jusco shopping centre. Also ate the famous Seremban Beef noodles that Seremban is famous for. To me, it was nothing spectacular. Not my taste really but my auntie have always been mentioning about it and my cousin always buys beef noodles back for my auntie when she goes to Seremban. So yeaa.... I guess I got no taste? hehehe...

beef noodles

my favourite lime and sour plum drink!!!!

30th and 31st January

Melaka trip. Before that, we made a brief stop at Linggi, Ivan's kampung, the place he was brought up in when he was a little kid. He showed me where he used to play, where he used to run around as a kid, what he used to do, the house he stayed in last time. It was still there and one of his his uncle and grandma stays there. A lot of land and a lot of trees surrounding it. Papaya treers, durian trees, banana trees, coconut trees, passionfruit plants and so many more. It was a great eye opener and I take back my word on saying he didn't have a good childhood coz he doesn't know much about fairytale or bedtime stories, any disney cartoons.

Reached Melaka pretty late because we got lost. Was going round and round trying to find Capitol Satay for Satay Celup but soon decided to just go to Jonker street and eat. Got a parking and walked. As we were finding for Jonker street, we saw Capitol Satay. I was having a sore throat then and so couldn't eat much. So wasted seeing that I have to be sick on Melaka!!! Been eating non-stop since I arrived back and hence... that was the price I gotta pay. The satay celup was... OK. I think just the thought of dipping the raw food into the sauce to cook just gross me out. Eventhough they change the pot of sauce everytime the previous customer leaves, you can never be sure if they used the same sauce or actually change a new one. You never know man. It's Malaysia. Apa-apa pun boleh dibuat.

the very crowded Capitol Satay where we had to stand in the line for 30 min to get a seat

Walked around Jonker Street for a bit, ate durian 'mi chiang kuih', drank longan drink.... and bought portugese egg tarts for the next morning.

jonker street

Stayed a night at Famosa because Ivan's uncle has an apartment there and hence, free accommodation :)

Next day, it was back to Melaka town. Didn't really get to see Famosa because they were in a rush to go back. So yea.... walked around Melaka a bit more, saw the red house, melaka river....

melaka river

out and about in melaka

Christ Church

And... ate Nyonya food. Finally got to taste Nyonya food. Have always been wanting to try them after watching The Little Nyonya.

After lunch, it was back to Seremban. Went for another run before dinner. Had prawn mee for dinner, showered.... Then we went out again searching for dessert. Ended up at Old Town or something similar and had a drink there. See, non-stop eating!!

1st February

Woke up early and had my big pao for breakfast whilst Ivan had some dim sum. Bought a dozen of Seremban siew pao and half a dozen of egg tarts to bring to Singapore. Ivan sent me off at the bus terminal as I catch my bus to head to Singapore.

Bus ride was... bumpy. It was a double-decker bus... seats were comfy but yea.. it was bumpy and it made a few stops. It was a long bus ride.

1st February till 4th of February

Singapore!!!!

- to be continued-