So Sweet

So SWEET

So today at the airport, after unloading the car, putting my luggage onto the trolley...

He gave me this...

Lime flavoured and Feijoa flavoured lollypop plus a card...

But I can only open it in 2 days time...

You made me smile but made leaving even much harder.

Has it always been this hard?

Has it always been this hard?

Somehow leaving this time feels so hard. I really feel heavy-hearted. I try to recall the past few times having to leave. I don't think it was ever this hard. Ok, maybe the first time leaving at the start of last year felt hard just because it was the first time. But I manage to leave saying "I'll see you in May for my graduation or if not, I'll see you end of June."

And every other time I leave, I know when I will be seeing him again. But this time... I REALLY DON'T KNOW. During the past few days, I've been having people asking me "So when will we see you again?". And it sucks not to have an answer. I wish I have an answer rather than.. "umm...maybe end of this year? maybe next year?... umm... I don't really know actually..."

Will I come back to NZ after I finish my course at the end of the year before going back to Malaysia?

Should I stay back in Australia and look for jobs after I finish my course and then fly back to Malaysia straight?

Will I go to NZ from Malaysia before going back to Sydney?

Will I even be in Sydney next year?

Will I even get a job next year?

Will I go to the wedding?

Are you going to be in NZ next year?

*SIGH*

Putting all these uncertainties aside, I had a pretty good 1 month winter break. I tried to balance my time between friends and family and I hope I did alright. For once my mum didn't complain I'm always going out but maybe she just decided not to complain anymore.

I made sure I had dinner at home on most weekends because that's when my brother can be home for dinner. The 4 of us snuggled up on mum and dad's king size bed on one night and watched The Karate Kid. Another week, we went out for dinner then went to Countdown to buy two packs of cards... found lots and lots of coins at home..... and played cards from 8.30pm till 1am in the morning. The following week, we went to the movies and watched Inception, with all of us falling asleep at some point of the movie, excluding my brother who was awake throughout. I gave mum and dad massages. I dyed my mum's hair. We went for a spontaneous walk at Mangemangeroa Reserve.

I played netball for 3 weekends, with this weekend being the best because of the awesome weather. Played a game of indoor netball. I played a game of mafia. I attended my very first boardgames night which was AWESOME and it is something I'm gonna MISS and be jealous about the next time a boardgames night is on and I can't go!!! I made a group of people watch Vampires Suck and made Swan rolled her eyes countless times.

I watched Eclipse and Inception at the movies. I had a good day trip with my other half, Gladys and Nat to Matakana. I met my favourite oldies and netball kakis for food, for sports, for games. I managed to have quick meet up session with Pei Yun; with Caroline; with Leight and Mel. I also had a quick catch-up with Alicia, a malaysian girl who I met when I was in Canada whose family took care of me whilst I was there. I worked a couple of times at the gym and earned my air ticket back.

I ate dim sum many many times. I had my kumara chips with aioli dip 3 times from burger fuel. I had a good chocolate dose at Chocolate Boutique. Ate pasta at La Porchetta. I had momo tea many many times. I had hulu cat. I had korean buffet. I ate lobster noodles. I had my favourite mushroom dish and prawn balls at One World Cafe. I had butter chicken at the food court in Sylvia Park. I had my chicken laksa at Food Alley. I drank feijoa juice. I had my egg benedicts (not at Circus Circus though). I had my 1kg mussel pot with fries and mayo. I had my ETA Uppercuts Honey and Soy Chicken. I had my KFC wicked wings and original recipe. I had my favourite prawns and yum yum sauce at Daikoku. I lost 4 kgs when I was in Sydney and now I have gained 3kgs :p

And with all these activities, my significant other was with me for most of them. We watched the World Cup a few times and made bets with each other. We watched a few movies on the laptop. We went for a $20 introductory offer for Bikram Yoga for 10 consecutive days at Ti Rakau Drive. Managed to go 7 times I think so it was pretty worth it. And just two days ago, it was just the both of us, making a morning day trip to Devonport :) The weather was crap but at least it wasn't pouring.

After typing all these out, seeing what I have done.... I guess I did make a good use out of this break. I still however wish for more time. I still have friends that I wanted to meet. I still want more time with him. I still want more netball. I still want another night of boardgames. All these will never be enough I guess.

And so, this is it. My winter break for 2010. I just realized, it is my last winter break. No more winter break anymore. Here's to my final semester of school!!

One more semester of printing slides, of highlighters, of swollen fingers from too much writing, of tutorials and lectures, of falling asleep in lectures, of using the secret code to get free photocopy service, of my famous "Mocco-Lo" to stay awake, of library visits....

And then hopefully... hopefully.... I can step into the working world next year.

Hopefully I can have a clearer picture.

Hopefully everything will fall into place nicely.

Hopefully I can see you not too long from now.

"No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was - I'll see you soon then."

we all live in fear everyday

We all live in fear everyday

As much as I want to stop studying, sometimes I wish this year will not end.

There's just so much uncertainties. Even with my holiday plans at the end of the year, I just do not know what's best to do. I wish I can split myself in many parts and be in many places at once.

Where will I be next year? Where will you be next year? Everything is just so uncertain, there isn't a clear plan which scares me really. I don't know why.

See how things go. Go with the flow. That's what I've been telling myself all these while. Sounds simple, or is it really?

please please please.. i'm just praying everyday. Praying for a clearer picture.

First week home

Time... FLIES. And now I'm left with only 3 weeks left.

What have I been up to?

Attended the Bersatu Games 3 out of the 4 days as a helper/supporter/coach. I was in charge of the first aid, mainly whacking ice on people... strapping ankles, knees, wrists, thumbs ... and giving people the deep heat cream when they needed it. I am glad I need not rub it on many people. Just 3 I think. And then whilst waiting for someone to get injured, I get to watch the games and cheering for UMSA. Quite disappointing really because they make it to the semis, coming top of their group and then...... gone.... not even 3rd. It puzzles me really but... ohh well.....

And lastly, I had the privilege to coach the UMSA's netball team. I came back last Tuesday and attended their training the following day at the rec centre. First time meeting them and there were lots to work on. The team were mainly new players, with Marilee and Naomi being the old ones only. Got to meet mama-san and my other half as well which was GREAT!!! We played for 2.5 hours, trying to pass on as much pointers as possible, getting to be noisier on court and communicating.

Friday morning, it was just me and the girls at Windmill and that took my whole morning. From 9-12 ... but it was REWARDING. The girls are so eager to learn and are always asking for feedbacks and how they can improve. They do not complain and when it started to rain, they wanted to keep playing still. They are not playful and they really listen. My morning wasn't wasted at all. However, there isn't much time left till the games and it was the last training session. How I wish I had more time with them.

Today, Tuesday, was the netball game. Swan was busy umpiring the games and so I was there to give the team pointers, screaming my lungs out at the sideline. Reached the rec centre at 7.30am hoping to squeeze a quick training sessions in before the games.

First game, it was against UMNO. I was told that UMSA got thrashed by UMNO during the friendly. And in the game, they got thrashed 2-8 by UMNO. I am still quite puzzled as to why they got thrashed because.... UMSA won WMSO and CMSA whereas UMNO lost to CMSA and tie with WMSO. Could it be the mindset that UMNO is better than UMSA because of the friendly match and therefore the team were not confident in beating UMNO? or could it be because UMSA players are usually very blur for their first game in the morning? I remembered back in Otago when we played CMSA and lost to them in our morning game and won them in the 3rd-4th placing. We were all blaming it on the early morning game. So I wonder if this was the case as well. Haha!!

But yeaa.. whatever it is.. UMSA netball grabbed the SILVER!!!! CMSA got the gold because of goal difference (CMSA won OMSA 18-1, UMSA won OMSA 10-2)... and that was what determined it. And UMNO came 3rd. So happy for the girls as I was just expecting a bronze from them. Came the final game between OMSA, I realized the girls are either in for a silver or a gold but they will need to beat OMSA by 20 points to get the gold. It was a huge pressure and I think that was what made them played badly during the first half of the game with OMSA (2-2 after first half). Before the 2nd half, I knew that they won't be able to score over 20 and told them to just play their game, and settle for silver. And they ended scoring quite a lot, ending it with a 10-4 win. Arghh!! Regret for putting the pressure on them... Ohh well!!!! Best game I enjoyed watching was the game between WMSO. The defence were beautiful and were following the opponents really tight and pressuring them. PURRRRR-FECT!!!! The mid-fielders were finding spaces and communicating.... and the shooters were using their bum and communicating in the D, playing TOGETHER!!!!!! After first half, I think the score was 5-1? The girls fumbled towards the end and ended with a 7-4 win I think and the defence got tired. But yeaa... it was good to see how they were keeping it tight throughout and taking what I said into the game.

The games were pretty intense, and I felt like some crazy girl, walking up and down the sideline, yelling "DEFENSE!!!!... get back get back!!!! .... stick your bum out!!!! .... mark her tight!!!!!!.... go behind go behind!!!!" But yeaa.. I'd do anything laaa not to lose.... Though I'm not playing, somehow I just felt that UMSA needs to win. It was once my team and I just wanted UMSA to still have a spot in the placings. And the silver was a bonus!!! First time to get Silver. It's always been bronze.... history was made back in 2008 with a GOLD.. and now... 2010... SILVER... so now all three medals have been achieved :) Woohooo!!!!

So yeaa.. well done to the UMSA netball team of 2010!!!! I see a lot of potential in this team which is made up of mainly new players who are eager to play next year. I really hope they do come back and play on and build on the team and get back the GOLD!!!!

And soo.. that was where my one week went to.

Also had momo tea with the oldies, momo tea with a high school friend, spent time with the monkey.... and also...started first day of work at the gym to earn so moolahh$$ :)

Now I'm waiting for the other half to be free and go and watch ECLIPSE!!!! Can't wait to drool on JACOB!!!!

going home

GoInG HoME!!!

I am going HOME today!!!!!!!!!!

Yeaaaa baby!!!!

See you aucklanders SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOPPPTEEEEeeeeeeeEEEDOOOOoooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holidayyy

HOLIDAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being a physiotherapist is SO REWARDING ... and I say this eventhough I'm paying to work for now. I'm paying $4500 for every 5 weeks. That's insane right?

Imagine what it will be like when I start earning money??

Despite the exhaustion, the frustrations, the challenges, the ups and downs, the smell of diarrhoea and pee ... In the end, I find it so self rewarding when I see those tiny improvements and changes that I help to make.

I'm definitely going to work in a hospital when I come out as a fresh graduate. I hope this enthusiasm in me stays for at least a few years. After every 5 weeks of my placement, I reflect and I find myself having no regrets in choosing this course. In fact, I'm so thankful to have chosen it. I compare myself to other professions in the hospital and see what they do. And I think, being the physio for the patients is the best!! I don't envy the other professions. I am glad I'm a physio.

I never thought I would find something that I enjoy doing and will eventually be paid for it. I think I have.

urghhhhhh

STREEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

PANICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!

Screw this shit la!!!!!!!

FARRRRRR OUT!!!!!!

Had a bad afternoon and when I got home, even more things to deal with....... URGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

feel like procrastinating

Just feel like procrastinating so I'm blogging ...

I had THE best long weekend last week alone
- Saturday: no sports strapping so I slept in till 9.30. Went for a long run/walk for 2.5 hours. Went for a swim, then to the spa, then to the sauna. Had curry chicken for dinner :) Watched an episode of GLEE that I missed last week.
- Sunday: Slept in till 9.30 again. Did grocery shopping, rented a DVD for FREE. Watched Cool Runnings on TV. This is such a hilarious movie!!! It's an old movie but to those who haven't watch it, you HAVE to!!!! Too funny MAN!!! Watched Ella Enchanted on TV as well after that. I am so glad I do not need to go up to Newcastle that Sunday!!! Went for steamboat buffet with Lucas, Thaddeus and Laura. We sat there for 2.5 hours. Wanted to go see the Fire Water at the Rocks but we decided to make our money worth. Got home, watched Invictus. The DVD I rented. Went to bed halfway.

- Monday: Finish up Invictus. It was a pretty good movie. I loved it. Movies about sports are always so inspirational. Add Morgan Freeman into it, lagi best!!!

And this week during prac....

I saw a cranioplasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is where they slice up the person's head, peel that layer of skin over, and put back part of the person's skull :p Awesome much??? I saw it from the very start. they had to shave his hair off before the slicing. The best part was when the surgeon start to slice the skin. It's like using a blade and just cut along. and you see all the blood oozing out.... Too Cool!!! And then after that, they took part of his skull which was stored in the bone bank for a few months and try to fit it back to his head. It's like completing the puzzle. It didn't fit cause of some ossification after a few months since the bone was out so they have to remove some of it. Then also they didn't peel enough of the membrane off so they had to peel more before fitting the bone back. It took quite some time and when they were about to put the bone in and screw it up to complete the puzzle... I had to leave as it was 4.30 already and I was catching a ride from Nat :( But yeaa.... it was still so cool!!!! I got to see the best part already which was the start...... I got to wear scrubs and look like those people in grey's anatomy. Wooot wooot!!!!! Syok sendiri.... hehehehe....

And now with the final week of prac coming up....

- I am super exhausted

- Ward meeting on Tuesday

- Case presentation on Wednesday

- Assignment due on Thursday

- Final Assessment the whole week

- Final Feedback on Friday

- And of course.... Saving more lives :p Haha!!!!

- I predict a busy busy week because most of my patients that I was looking after were discharged. Me and my miracle hands? Ekekekeke.....It was the calm before a storm pretty much.... patients getting discharged means... more empty beds... meaning more new ones coming in....

It's quite funny to think how nearly everyday someone gets a stroke!!!!!

Oh week 5, hurry up and be over. I want my HOLIDAY!!!!!

Glee's Poker Face

Glee Version of Lady Gaga

Me thinks it's SOOO MUCH BETTER!!!!! Especially Poker Face. I never liked the song Poker Face. I found it rather annoying. Perhaps it's because it was overplayed at one point. Many will disagree but this is just my point of view.

Until I watched this on TV last night... I was in awe. I like the song now! Glee version that is. It took me awhile to realize it's Idina Menzel !!! Go to 5:52 of this video to see the Glee version of Poker Face and you will know what I mean.

I love Glee :p A good tv show to watch just to de-stress and lose your mind. Never fail to make me feel all smiley, warm, fuzzy and cheerful :) What'd ya reckon? Agree? No?

finally

Long weekend!!!!

Finally a Queen's Birthday Weekend that I can enjoy. I recalled the previous ones in the past few years. It was always during exams and didn't get to enjoy this long weekend. Got so many big plans for this weekend. I'm so excited and was looking forward to all my plans the whole week. Will tell you about it later.

This year, I don't have any exams this semester. And hence, this Queen's Birthday weekend is to be enjoyed fully!!! The other day, Nat and I was talking about last year. How we were cramming so hard for the exams. Gosh!!! we both agreed it was the worst time of our lives. Most stressful time. I am glad I have crossed that barrier. Phew!! Definitely do not want to go back to last year.

And so ... this shall be a GOOD weekend. This whole week felt super long for some reason. Everyone is just so over it. Just so exhausted and can't wait for the 5 weeks to be over. I am not surprised that the burnout rate for physios are relatively high now. But I guess it won't be that bad when I start earning money!! This long weekend is a much looked forward break. And after that, it's 2 more weeks!! Woohoooo!!!

And my busy plans for this weekend?

Rest, stay at home, do nothing, sleep in, have no plans with anyone, sit in front of the tele, eat, recuperate... and maybe... if i can squeeze it in, maybe a run. But nothing else. Too busy!!!

On a different note, Darling Harbour will be having a huge FIFA fan fest throughout the duration world cup. Live matches will be broadcasted on massive floating screens. I'm gonna make sure I watch at least one match from it just because I can :p

Hehehehe....

Power Yoga

Power Yoga

So I haven't seen much of Newcastle really. Everyday it's just home --> hospital. Hospital --> home.

But this Sunday, Nat drove up and I caught a ride with her. Finally a car to get around!

For once, we made it home today from the hospital before 5pm since we didn't need to wait for the bus.

So anyway... she dragged me to my very first yoga session today. It's power yoga so it's more fast paced according to her. Thank goodness it is coz I won't be able to hold the same position for that long. I have stretched muscles I have never stretched before.

And I swear... I have never sweat so much in my entire life before. It felt good at the end tho. Perhaps it was because of the heated room.

I was sweating so much that the mat became so slippery that I lost my balance a few times. Not like I had good balance anyway. So imagine just how many time I lost my balance. Now i finally realized why people were putting towel on top of the yoga mat.

Will I do it again? For the next 10 days, YES. Coz I paid $19 for introduction trial of 10 days. Hehehehe.. in the future? I don't know. It's too expensive.

But yea.. good sweaty experience :p

Little House

Little House in Dear John

I love this place

But it's haunted, without you

My tired heart Is beating so, slow

Our hearts sing less than we wanted, we wanted

Our hearts sing 'cause

We do not know, we do not know

To light the night to help us grow

It is not said I always know

You can catch me

Don't you run, Don't you run

If you live another day in this happy little house

The fire's here to stay,

To light the night

To help us grow, To help us grow

It is not said, I always know

Please don't make a fuss It won't go away

The wonder of it all

The wonder that I made

I am here to stay, I am here to stay

Sweet voice. An angel's voice. She is good. Gives me goosebumps.

Nice movie :)

Made me miss you even more more. Bring me back my 2008 please.

Wicked Weekend

Wicked Weekend!!

Shaleeni came for the weekend from Port Augusta. For those who do not know, she is my swimming friend way back in Malaysia in those swimming days. She's now working as a pharmacist, in Port Augusta, out in the woop woops, 3 hours from Adelaide.

I have not seen her for 3.5 years. But we still keep in contact every so often through facebook, emails and now on the phone since I am in Australia now and calling from 3 to 3 is included in my plan.

After much planning, she finally came to Sydney for a visit. Perfect timing as I just finished my 2nd placement and have one week off. And as a bonus, mum and dad were here so we could go and see places other than the city.

She arrived Friday night. Caught a train to Town Hall. That girl... got down at Wynyard station and was claiming she's at Town Hall. I was at Town Hall station waiting for her and I swear I couldn't see any lost person wondering inside. After much wandering around, I finally realized she's at Wynyard. I called and ask which station she's at and she didn't really know... until I asked she if she was at Wynyard station.. then only she was like.. 'oh shit!'. Hahaha.... people from port augusta, can't blame them.

Went for korean dinner in the city with mum and dad, as well as lucas and his gf. During dinner, she was talking about her life in port augusta, how it's a very small place and everyone's really friendly, about how it's very beautiful there and how you can take the boat out and see DOLPHINS!!! I am so going to plan a trip there one day in the near future!!

She then asked about if Wicked is in Sydney because she saw a lot of ads around in the train station. And I told her it is playing but I have not watched it yet. Wanted to watch it last year in November with Swan and Ivan, but we decided to spend that money on food instead :p

She have watched in when she was in Melbourne and was going on and on about how I have to watch it. I was so tempted to watch it since they're here for the second time but just don't have anyone to watch it with. She then said she'll watch it again with me if I want, she don't mind. Ahhhhh!!!! And even said it'll be my belated belated birthday present and she'll pay for it.

So when we got home, we checked out the times and there was one show on Sunday at 3pm. I was still sitting there, thinking if I should watch it or not. There was a Mother's Day special promotion and tickets were $95 bucks, 10 bucks cheaper from the usual which made it even more tempting. But, I was still thinking. It's not my money and I feel bad getting her to watch it the second time and paying for it as well.

This girl couldn't wait anymore and took out her credit card and bought the tickets!!! I guess deep inside she can tell that I really want to watch it and just bought the tickets. I was so excited!! I am gonna watch Wicked on Sunday!!!!!

So on Sunday, after my half marathon, we went for lunch at Chat Thai which was just opposite the Capitol Theatre, where the musical was gonna be at. We ordered heaps for lunch. Pauline, another swimming friend, joined us for lunch. Poor girl waited 45 minutes for us as I was rushing home after my run and getting changed. Had the yummy pandan drink, deep fried snapper, massaman curry and spring rolls. Also ordered the sweet potato balls for snack but couldn't finish them. Took the sweet potato balls into the musical. Hehehehe....

shaleeni and pauline

So after lunch and walking Pauline halfway to the train station, it was time for Wicked!! So so excited as it is my first time watching a proper musical. Been watching all those musical way back during college, performed by the drama students. I enjoyed those a lot and was really looking forward to this.

And... it was absolutely mind-blowing, amazing, fantastic, super duper whooper awesome!!

The stage set up, the lighting, the effects, the props.... it was all perfect. When it comes to a different scene, the props on the stage slides away and the new ones slides out. You don't see any backstage people dressed in black to take the props away and put in new ones. They just slide in and out by itself.

The best part was when the wicked witch sang Defying Gravity. Towards the end... it was just.... WOWWW! it left me speechless.... Let's just say the wicked witch really defied gravity. Just too impressive and you don't notice any wires/strings attached. You don't even realize when it was attached. You wonder if it was attached to her all these while. The engineers for this musical are just too intelligent.

The storyline itself fell into place so nicely with The Wizard of Oz. Throughout the whole play, you slowly realized how the tin man, the cowardly lion and the scarecrow came about. Everything just clicked. There was a reason as to why they become like that and there was a good reason behind it. The singing was good but not as good as the original one on youtube. The person playing Glinda the Good wasn't that good. At some point, it sounded like she was out of tune. But she had pretty dresses and she's pretty hot so that makes up for it. Hehehehe.... The person playing the wicked witch however had a really good voice. Love her to bits. She's my favourite character. I couldn't really see how she looked like because she was all GREEN. I call her the girl version of Incredible Hulk, minus the muscles, the size :p

I thoroughly enjoyed the musical and had a high from it until even now. Came home and downloaded the soundtrack, went to Wikipedia to read more about it, went to youtube.... And right now as I'm blogging this, I am listening to the soundtrack. My favourite is For Good. Got a bit emotional because it was going to be the last time these two witches see each other and the song was expressing how they felt for each other. How both had a huge impact on each other lives.

Also because Shaleeni sang this song and sent it to me long time ago and I fell in love with it.The lyrics are very meaningful and touched me. I think I was clapping really really loud when it ended. It was just too good.

I do not want to reveal the ending really. You would think the wicked witch died because she was misunderstood and that's sad. But... it was actually a good ending in a way.. there was a twist... and I pity the Glinda the Good at the end of the day. OoOoOOO!! Twisty ending. hehehehe.... Go look it up if you want to know why. If not, go and watch it. Come to Sydney and watch it. Or if it do ever go to NZ, you gotta watch it!! Get the good seats I reckon'. It's worth it. I got the cheaper ones, sitting on the top but Shaleeni said it would have been better to sit at the bottom. The effects are way way better.

And so, that was my Wicked experience, it was WICKED!!!!! Thanks babe for paying and watching it for the second time with me!!!

Other things we did before Sunday...

Trip to Blue Mountains with mum and dad because they had a car. My first time to blue mountains...

us at the blue mountains national park

Didn't get to walk around and explore much. It was more like a preview of Blue Mountain. Definitely going to come back again and spent the whole day walking on the many tracks they have. And also going all the way down the Giant Stairway. We only went down halfway and climbed back up because we ran out of time.

Giant Stairway Very Steep- Strong Walkers only. We only read this sign after we came up

The Three Sisters

Next was Clovelly and Coogee beach.

Had fish and chips there where I bought a jar of tartar sauce next door because as we all know, I refuse to pay $1.50 for a small packet of tartar sauce.

Massive massive waves! There were kids jumping near the rocks into the water! go to facebook to see more.

Perfect shot

At night, had dinner at Hurricane's with Lucas and his gf.

look at our greedy face.. haha!!

Followed by Passionflower ice cream after. They got really yummy asian flavours. We got taro, DURIAN, JACKFRUIT and COCONUT ice cream.

It was a wonderful weekend :)

:p Crazy shadows

Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon - 16th May 2010

Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon - 16th May 2010

The day for the hope of redemption.

I woke up at 6 having 6 hours of sleep the night before. Was out and about the day before as Shaleeni was in Sydney for visit (more on that on a different post). Had my cup of milo and 2 eggs. Put the banana in my bag and rushed out the house as I was running late. Passed my bag to shaleeni half way as she went to meet up with Lucas for breakkie and I was off to Hyde Park, the starting point of the race.

On my way to Hyde Park, I realized I left my banana in the bag. So much for having my routine breakfast eh? Fingers cross no leg cramp. I went to the very back of the starting line as there were so many people and I was late. When the race started, I felt an urge to do some 'small business'. After a few steps forward in the crowd towards the starting line, I decided, just go. So I rushed to the port-a-loo and took a dump. I didn't want to re-enact my putrajaya half marathon moment.

After 6 minutes past 7.30, I finally reached the starting line and off I go. The race was through the city. From Hyde Park to the Rocks, running along Hickson Road, going under the Harbour Bridge with the Opera House in sight, pass through Circular Quay and up the hill of Hunter Street. It was then through the Domain, making a loop at Mrs.Macquaries Chair and then a gradual slope back up. It was then back to Hyde Park and another loop was done.

I had a good start, running under 6 minutes for the first few kms. My aim was to do it under 2 hours 4 minutes. I kept on looking at my watch and doing calculations in my head throughout the run. I think that was what distracted me throughout the run. Also, another distraction was the sea of people running. Had to constantly find an open space to run. Especially at narrower lanes and corners. Didn't think about whether my legs were sore, whether I was struggling with my breathing, whether my stomach was good. Came the 5km mark, I was at 28 minutes. Sweet. If I keep running at 6 min/km, I'd finish it in 2 hours 4 mins. So if I just sprint towards the end, I'd do it under 2 hours 4 min.

As I ran up Hunter Street, I managed to maintained my pace at 6 min/km. Pass Hunter Street, I slowed down, legs were starting to get sore. But I knew the route ahead of me was going to be a nice one through the Domain. I picked up my pace. It was a slight downhill from the city into Domain and my pace was good. Just at the turn to come back up, just after the 8km mark, there it was, my distraction. Gatorade, water and GU energy gels. Take my pick. Haven't tried GU energy gels before so I grabbed one and downed it with some water. Tasted pretty good. I had the lemon sublime flavour. It was quite thick and you really need water with it. The greedy me then grabbed another one just in case I need it later on. Hehehehe.. there goes some precious time.

Came to the 10km mark, I was at 56 minutes :D :D I had a better target then. To run it under 2 hours. I just need to maintain my pace. But as I got out of the Domain, back into the city, my calves and thighs were really sore. It felt like they were about to cramp. Butt was sore too, i do not know why. I'm guessing the energy gels did not really help prevent my cramps. *sigh* I stopped by the side of the road, did some stretches but it wasn't really working. Sat down and rubbed the calves and thighs out but still quite tight. As I saw more and more runners running pass me, I wasn't happy. And so, I got up and just ran.

I ran through the city once more, taking huge strides as I ran down Hunter Street, took the opportunity to speed up as I know I was gonna have to climb back up later on and will need more time to do that. Went through the Rocks and what seemed an OK climb up Arygle Street in the first loop wasn't too OK anymore. It somehow felt a wee bit more steeper and longer. But I clenched my teeth and powered my way up. Ran down Kent Street and to Hickson road towards the Rocks. The sore calves did not go away but I was so determined not to stop or slow down. I really wanted to complete the run under 2 hours.

Reached the bottom of Hunter Street, took a deep breath in and up I went. It wasn't really a tough hill. I think I'm just weak at my legs. Mind you, my breathing was awesome throughout the whole time. No problem with that. It was just the legs. It didn't want to go anymore. I didn't look at my watch after Hunter Street and kept running.

Came the 14km mark, I was at 1 hour 18 mins. The hope of making it under 2 hours is even closer. Can la can.... and then the stupid greedy me saw more GU gels in the Domain. Same spot. Before that, I was telling myself I do not need it. Just keep running. I opened up my second pack of gel somewhere just before The Rocks on Hickson road and didn't even finish it. Was still in my hands. And so I thought I'll grab some water to finish up my second pack. And so I did. And then I grabbed two more gels to take them home. Haha!! So greedy right? But hey, I paid freaking $85 bucks and all I know is I'm getting a piece of metal after the run. I want something more. Haha! So yea.. grab the gel! Why la why? Why I so greedy? Waste time only.

On the 19th km, I was at 1 hour 48 min. This meant that I was maintaining a pace of 6km/min for the last 5km despite the greedy stop at the gels. And so, if I were to maintain the same pace or pick up my pace for the last 2km, I'd be able to achieve my target.

But .... things didn't go my way at all. The legs and bum started getting really heavy. Started to get a stitch in my tummy. My calves were really tight and it cramped up. Arghhh!!! Stopped for awhile, didn't want to stretch it and was hitting it instead to loosen it up. Haha! It did work somehow and relieve the cramp. Don't ask me how. It was still tight but tolerable. On the final km, the watch read 1 hour 54 min 47 seconds. That was the most accurate time I remembered throughout the whole run. I needed to finish my final km in 5 min 13 seconds. Which I've never done before in any of my run. In my head, I was just telling myself to give it my all. I am so close to doing it. Just go all out and have no regrets.

I tried to pick up my pace. As I came into Hyde park and with the final sprint, I had 8 seconds left. Whether I make it or not, I do not know but all I can do was to sprint. I sprinted and clocked at 2 hours 9 seconds. I was so so so gutted. 9 seconds off!!! *sigh* So close yet so far. I thought back to my previous target of under 2 hours 4 mins and felt satisfied I cut off 4 mins from my PB for a half marathon. But just gutted I couldn't do it under 2 hours when I was so close.

I feel so angry at myself. For not eating my banana. Banana prevents cramps. For being so greedy and grabbing the energy gels. That definitely took more than 9 seconds. Why la why??? For not running in preparation to the half marathon. Only ran once last week in the past 2 months. It was such a good running route. I was SO CLOSE. Maybe if I were to do it in 2 hours 2 mins, then maybe I'll feel less gutted.

On a positive side, I did achieve my earlier goal which I set before the run. It was a PB for a half marathon. I averaged at 5 min 43 secs per km. My best was the 9km run with average of 5 min 22 sec in September. But this was 21km. So I should be happy. It was the legs that failed me this time but the lungs were a machine. I attribute that to the swimming I was doing. The swimming shall be one of the training I will do from now if I do prepare for another run. And next time, I am going to make sure I incorporate some running. Who can be so silly not to run for an upcoming 21km RUN? Answer:Sher Mayne.

It was a good experiment though. To see if I can depend on swimming to help me with a half marathon. And I have came to a conclusion that it can. It really helped with the breathing and also did help mentally. Hard to explain that part but it's like.. with swimming, when I do the butterfly, there's always this strength in me to push harder till I reach the wall. I will not stop till I reach the wall. Whereas for running, if I feel like stopping, I will. I will just stop and walk. Why did I choose swimming to prepare for my half? Well, placement has been really stressed and the best way for me is to swim it off. Running won't really do the trick for me. Sometimes it does but not all the time. Whereas being in the water makes me feel so peaceful and calm. So yea... swimming in preparation for a half marathon run. Good results. I am happy with it as long as I do not think about the under 2 hours target I set for myself during the run. Haha!

Next run? I do not know. Not anytime soon. The 14km City 2 Surf is in August. Tempting but money is stopping me from doing it. Maybe I'll do the Blackmore's half marathon in September. Not sure yet. Again, it's the money that's stopping me. And there's just too much to think about. Whether or not I am strong enough mentally to train for it. That's a huge factor. I need to know that I can train before I do another half marathon. I need to make my money worth it. Will see how my 2nd sem schedule is like first before I decide on doing it.

At the mean time, it's REST REST REST. My body is aching everywhere. I can't really walk properly. Going downhill or stairs is the worst. I feel like an old lady walking around. Worst is when I'm sitting down too long and the moment I stand up, I feel like falling.

But I'm happy. I'm happy I did a PB. I'm happy I did it alone and proved to myself that I am strong and capable to push myself and to keep going. I have gained that self satisfaction once more. I discovered a new form of training for me and it is effective. Imagine what I would have accomplished if I swam AND run for my training and doing it religiously. mMmmMMMM... that would be my next ideal plan for a training :)

And.. I gained redemption from my failed night half marathon. Woohoooo!!!! I have redeemed myself from.. myself.... :D :D $85 bucks? Worth it? Hell yea!!!!

look at my two GU energy gels that cost me my 9 seconds... bwahahaha!!! ohh well... better luck next time!!

Double High sunday

Double High Sunday

I ran the half marathon. Felt a little gutted but I was still proud of myself.

I had a wicked experience, watching WICKED, the musical - for free :D As a belated belated birthday prezzie. It was superbly awesome!

More on these later, still recovering from DOMS.

Satu minggu lagi...

Satu minggu lagi...

Yep, that's right. One more week till my 2nd placement is over. Can't wait. Busy week ahead. 1 case study write up, 1 case study presentation, 1 patient's journey write up and final unit assessment.

This placement is very exhausting. Drains me out mentally and physically. Yesterday was the second time I skipped lunch, for the sake of being 'efficient and have good time management skills". And it always happened on the mornings where I choose an extra 10 mins of sleep over having a good breakkie. I just had a cup of milo. My supervisor didn't know I skipped lunch and was impressed that I see all my patients in time and without much guidance from her.

I really need to step my game up because the mid unit assessment as usual, did not go too well. Poor time management skills. So yea... if it means skipping lunch again for the rest of this week to pass, I'm gonna do it.

Will write more about it when I'm done with this placement.

On a brighter note, mum and dad are coming TODAY!!! It was sort of a last minute thing as they decided to cancel their China trip and come here instead. Ahhhh!!!!! Filled with love love love again... heeheeeheee....

Carbo-loading weekend

Carbo-loading weekend

My half marathon is in 2 weeks time.

Distance I've ran in the past 1.5 months: 0 km

I carbo-loaded myself this weekend with no intention of doing that. I think the hunger for carbs started to kick in after having salad 5 days in a row for lunch. Had two servings of pasta on Friday night, two servings on Saturday night. Followed by a huge bowl of ice cream after. Haha!! And tonight, I had two bowls of rice, steamed egg with pork (3 eggs + 100g of minced pork). I think I now have enough carbs and protein to last me for the week.

I'm gonna continue to carbo load myself. At least try. I figured since I can't get myself running, perhaps I can do the other part in preparation to my run, which is carbo loading. But then again, it might go badly coz I might end up really heavy and makes it harder to run :p

We shall see how it goes. Hehehe...

I wanna watch

I wanna watch:

The Last Song

When In Rome

Letters to Juliet

Dear John

2010

2010

It hasn't been going that great.

So many unfortunate events. Just been coming across too many.

Is it gonna get better or worst from now?

I really do wonder. I really hope it will get better.

It all happened too sudden

It all happened too sudden

One bad news after another. The worst thing that you could think of happened. There wasn't even a goodbye.

My deepest condolences goes out to a good friend of mine and his family.

I didn't really know how to react, didn't really know what to say. All that could came out from me was.. "I'm sorry". There's no words really that could ease such loss, I feel rather helpless.

You have my deepest sympathies and my thoughts and prayer are with you.

Take care my friend.